Getting hitched is good for you.
“Being married makes people happier and more satisfied with their lives than those who remain single,” the New York Times recently concluded, “particularly during the most stressful periods, like midlife crises.”
But if romantic comedies have taught us anything, deciding who to marry is one of the hardest choices you’ll make in your life.
To figure it out, you could go the analytic route, agonizing over every compatibility.
Or you could take the oh-so-simple-advice of Peter Pearson, psychologist and cofounder of the Couples Institute, a couples therapy practice in Menlo Park, California.
He suggests answering a simple question: “If you’re living together and your partner is away for a couple days and you see a favourite scarf, a pair of shoes, or another article of clothing that’s important to them, how do you feel?”
“Do you feel annoyed that you have to pick up the clutter,” Pearson continued, “or does it bring up happy memories?”
While simple, the question makes a profound point: Do you appreciate or resent your partner?
And the answer has massive consequences.
Relationship psychologists have discovered that kindness and generosity are what make couples last — and those qualities won’t come without lots of appreciation.
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