Praise the Lord and Pass the Waffle Fries It’s official. It took me 30 years to prove it: Chick Fil-A owners and management ARE cynical arseholes. Not being able to get one of their chicken sammiches on a Sunday is just the tip of the iceberg. A couple of weeks ago, the chain’s president and COO Dan Cathy, son of Chick Fil-A founder Truett Cathy, was quoted in the Baptist Press as saying “We are very much supportive of the family — the biblical definition of the family unit,” Cathy said. “We are a family-owned business, a family-led business, and we are married to our first wives. We give God thanks for that.” To quote the Church Lady: “Isn’t that special.”
Now before I get my hater on, I’ll concede two things. One: the Baptist Press is far from a mainstream publication and anyone with half a lick of sense would figure that you’re GOING to see viewpoints that oppose same sex marriage in a publication titled “Baptist Press”. Two: Cathy did not come right out and say “By Gawd! Gay marriage is an abomination! My chick’n sammich sellin’ family and our company abhor it and refuse to serve THOSE people our dee-lishus chick’n sammiches!” So, the brouhaha aimed toward the fast food chain by the outraged is total bullshit. However, so is Chick Fil-A’s silence and exploitation of the controversy.
Yesterday, thousands of God fearin’, cow savin’ Americans, mostly in the South (disclaimer…I’m from..still live..and will continue to live in the South), spurred on by Fox’s Rockin’ Deacon Mike Huckabee, lined up in redonkulous heat to support the fast food chain and their stance on the useless, distractive, non-issue of same sex marriage. Support how? By buying a chicken sandwich. Idiots. Brilliant marketing but cynical to the core.
The whole “we’re closed on Sunday so everyone can go to church” thing has always seemed a bit transparent as well. It plays well amongst their heartland, core audience. However, it’s also a brilliant way to save a ton of money on operational expenses. 52 days of no benefits, no supplies, no utilities, system wide. The demand they manipulate and pen up during the other six days of the week makes up for the one day of missed sales. Yes. It sounds very pious and I’m sure, in some ways, the Cathy family may be sincere. But it doesn’t hurt the bottom line now does it?
Living most of my natural life in the Bible belt, Chick Fil-A’s posture reminds me of the “good Christian” businessman who plasters the Jesus fish on every aspect of his business: the sign, business cards, beer koozies, you name it. His message is “do business with me because I’m a good Christian” not “do business with me because we’ve got a great product.”I’ve eaten a few Chick Fil-A sandwiches in my day They’re pretty good. Leave it at that. A good chicken sandwich. But using your “strong” faith and exploiting the faith of others to move product? That dog don’t hunt.
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