Satirist P.J. O'Rourke Has Filed The Most Entertaining Supreme Court Brief We've Ever Seen

P.J. O'RourkeREUTERS/Ferran ParedesP.J. O’Rourke

P.J. O’Rourke and the Cato Institute have filed an epic amicus brief in a Supreme Court fight over an Ohio law that makes it a crime to lie about political candidates during a campaign.

Their entertaining brief says the Supreme Court should strike down the Ohio law, arguing Americans have a First Amendment right to be “truthy” when talking about their politicians.

Here’s the money section of the brief filed by the libertarian Cato Institute, and O’Rourke, whom the brief describes as America’s “leading political satirist:”

In modern times, “truthiness” — a “truth” asserted “from the gut” or because it “feels right,” without regard to evidence or logic — is also a key part of political discourse. It is difficult to imagine life without it, and our political discourse is weakened by Orwellian laws that try to prohibit it.

After all, where would we be without the knowledge that Democrats are pinko-communist flag-burners who want to tax churches and use the money to fund abortions so they can use the fetal stem cells to create pot-smoking lesbian ATF agents who will steal all the guns and invite the UN to take over America?

Voters have to decide whether we’d be better off electing Republicans, those hateful, assault-weapon-wielding maniacs who believe that George Washington and Jesus Christ incorporated the nation after a Gettysburg reenactment and that the only thing wrong with the death penalty is that it isn’t administered quickly enough to secular-humanist professors of Chicano studies.

The dispute in the Supreme Court involves the pro-life group Susan B. Anthony List (SBA) and Steven Driehaus, a former U.S. Representative of Ohio and member of the Democratic Party.

During the 2010 elections, SBA made plans to put up a billboard that said, “Shame on Steve Driehaus! Driehaus voted FOR taxpayer-funded abortion.” (This was a reference to Driehaus’s vote for Obamacare.)

After the news reported on SBA’s plans, Driehaus filed a complaint with the Ohio Elections Commission claiming the group violated the state’s law about false campaign statements. SBA then filed a First Amendment challenge to the law itself.

In their amazing amicus brief, the Cato Institute and O’Rourke contend that it’s not even clear that SBA was lying about Driehaus in the first place. From their brief, which also pokes fun at the Supreme Court’s decision to uphold the Obamacare mandate as a tax:

Driehaus voted for Obamacare, which the Susan B. Anthony List said was the equivalent of voting for taxpayer-funded abortion. Amici are unsure how true the allegation is given that the healthcare law seems to change daily, but it certainly isn’t as truthy as calling a mandate a tax.

It seems even the nation’s highest court is capable of loosely interpreting the truth.

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