Pissed-Off Judge Sends Hedge-Fund Fugitive To New Hoosegow--No Free Painkillers In This One

After Wednesday’s sudden surrender, today hedge-fund swindler Sam Israel faced a none-to-pleased judge in New York for bail jumping. She quickly shipped him off to prison, but not the medically friendly one she assigned him to last time:

Reuters: Israel, who faked his own death nearly four weeks ago to avoid a 20-year prison sentence for cheating investors out of $450 million, claimed he really tried to commit suicide in the past 48 hours by overdosing on pills.

“I thought it was better to do myself in than to turn myself in,” he told Judge Colleen McMahon in federal court in Manhattan. “I was unsuccessful.”

When that attempt failed, Israel said, he realised that God had wanted him to surrender rather than kill himself. [Evidently God was ok with Israel pretending to kill himself, or maybe they just weren’t communicating very well that day.] This and his mother’s pleas made him leave the campground where he had been hiding out in a mobile home and ride his blue scooter to a police station in Southwick, Massachusetts…

“Welcome back, Mr. Israel,” McMahon snapped [when Israel walked into the courtroom].

McMahon originally sentenced Israel in April but allowed the man who engineered the $2 trillion hedge fund industry’s most brazen scam ever to remain free for weeks so that prison officials could get the medications he needs ready.

This time, she denied him bail and withdrew her recommendation that he serve his sentence at a low-security prison in Ayer, Massachusetts, where he could receive medical attention. Israel has a pacemaker and once battled an addiction to painkillers.

“I’m through concerning myself with Mr. Israel’s requirements,” McMahon said. “It was thrown in my face last time.”

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