You’re Not Going To Believe The Latest Developments In The Petraeus Sex Scandal

Paula Broadwell
Paula Broadwell, the original other woman.

In the past 12 hours, the news flow in the Petraeus sex scandal has taken a turn toward the bizarre.

Jill Kelley
Jill Kelley, the mysterious woman in Tampa.

Let’s recap:

  • The centre of gravity in the scandal has shifted to a mysterious woman in Tampa Bay whom many of our top military and law-enforcement brass appear to be obsessed with.
  • This woman, Jill Kelley, is the wife of a surgeon and an “unpaid liaison” between the public and a nearby Air Force base. This “job” seems mainly to include hosting and attending parties and emailing with generals and FBI agents.
  • Paula Broadwell, General Petraeus’s mistress, lost her mind and sent anonymous harassing emails to this woman.
  • Kelley got freaked out by the harassing emails and called the FBI, thus triggering the investigation that, so far, has sucked in the head of the CIA, a top general, and an FBI agent.
  • The FBI agent assigned to investigate the case lost his mind and emailed “shirtless photos” to the woman.
  • Another top US general, John Allen, lost his mind and sent 20,000-30,000 pages of email to the same woman, some of which were described as “inappropriate”
  • General David Petraeus showed up at a party at this woman’s house in a 28-car motorcade.
  • The woman, Jill Kelley, has hired the same lawyer that defended Bill Clinton in the Monica Lewinsky scandal and the same crisis PR person who represented Michael Vick.
  • The woman insists that she has done nothing wrong and that she’s the victim here (did anyone suggest she has done anything wrong?).
  • The FBI agent who sent the shirtless photos of himself to the woman called Congress two weeks ago and leaked news of the investigation to House majority leader Eric Cantor.
  • Paula Broadwell’s dad says, tantalizingly, that “this story is about something else entirely” and that the whole truth will eventually come out.
  • “Classified” material has been found on Paula Broadwell’s computer, but both Petraeus and Broadwell deny that it came from him.
  • The FBI just raided Paula Broadwell’s house.

If this story really is about “something else entirely,” we can’t wait to hear what that is.