Our favourite Google Voice Screwups

brick cell phone

As far as we can tell, Google’s voice-over-IP product Google Voice is good for three things:

  • It promotes Google’s services, which perhaps drive search revenues.
  • It disrupts phone companies.
  • Its voicemail-to-text technology yields some very silly, sometimes alarming, and always funny miscommunications.

A new blog called GV Screwups is keeping good track of these bloopers.

Here are our five favourite so far:

Original Message:

Hi, trying to find you, wondering why you’re not home, it’s 7:00. Dinner’s waiting. I need to know what you’re doing, if we should start dinner without you or not.

What GV Heard:

Bye kind of wondering. I’m home, I’m the nurse calling. It’s 21 thinking about you.

Original Message:

Hi honey, this is your Google number, I’m Googling you. I’m at the post office in Absecon delivering mail with my dad on the mail run, mmmm he he I’m earning my lunch, he bought me lunch, ha ha, and we’re going over his house now and Kathy’s gonna cook us dinner at 5:00 o’clock, this should be an experience. If you’re in um, Somerdale at 5:00 call me at my dad’s house between 5:00 and 6:00. Bye.

What GV Heard:

Hi honey, this is you don’t remember. I am currently in use and at the post office so that he can delivering mail with my dad on the mail and then there is somebody my lunch you’d let me lunch. We’re going to react his arse now i Cathy’s good Coco’s dinner at 5 o’clock. That should be in experience, Houston somebody else 5. Call me at my dad testing 5 and 6. Bye.

Original Message:

uh Thanks Johann, it’s uh Thursday afternoon, a little after 4:00 o’clock. Good news, I disabled all these uh anti electric magnetic devices and I have uh perfect uh wireless connection both in the dining room uh I can open e-mails and uh and in Greg’s room, so that’s great but please call me, you may want to reinstall firewall and AVG and other protections so call me when you get back, thanks.

GV Heard:

Hi John, It’s Thursday afternoon. Never allow after 4 o’clock. God knows. Try disable Raleigh ocean, Antilock, Derick magnetic devices and I have the perfect wireless connection balls in the dining room. I can open emails and and then Greg throw so I’ll ask right up. Please call me, you might wanna wrote the reinstall file on A, B J, how their approval. Protections, so call me when you get back. Thanks.


Original Message:

Hey Kyle, it’s Dad. It’s Tuesday morning. Give a call at work, OK? XXX-XXX-XXX, when you can, please.

What GV Heard:

Yes. Hey Kyle, status Tuesday morning. Give me a call or cocaine XXX-XXXX-XXXX when you can please bye.


I am Cornholio. I need TP for my bungholio.

What GV Heard:

Hi i’m calling to know i need to be a problem i will call you know.

Go get addicted to GV Screwups →

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