Nick Lesson, the rogue trader who famously broke Barings bank back in 1994, has written a piece in UK’s The Independent on what it’s like to be a rogue trader, as your losses keep piling up.
You live in fear. In that very initial period, the heart is racing. You should have closed the position at the earliest opportunity, and taken no more than a slap on the wrist.
But when the call, or the knock on the door, doesn’t come, you start to grow in confidence. You start to believe that you’ll have the time to correct it, that you can push the barriers that little bit further – that you can get back to ground zero and start again.
There is release, in the end, and relief. Your whole life, for several years, has been a lie. Lying to your friends, lying to your family. Nobody knew apart from me. Alcohol helped, and at the weekends I would try and get away from it all.