MySpace Founder Offers Nutty Plan to Save Dow Jones

Bradgreenspan2

Flush with cash from his MySpace sale, and apparently desperate to seek vengeance against the man (Murdoch) who stole his baby for only $580 million, Brad Greenspan has laid out his latest, greatest Dow Jones plan.  The new version is designed to 1) keep Dow Jones out of Murdoch’s nefarious hands, and 2) send Dow Jones stock zooming to over $100 a share. 

How will the talented Mr. Greenspan accomplish these goals?  First, he’ll lend $400-$600 million to the Murdoch-hating members of the Bancroft family so they can buy out their more practical siblings.  Second, he’ll borrow $2.5 billion to buy back stock and another $500 million to fund online video initiatives.  Lastly, he’ll found a cable business channel that is not CNBC and not Fox Business TV but will still manage to drive Dow Jones earnings into the stratosphere.  How?  Unlike most cable channel and digital initiatives that take years to fight their way into the black, Greenspan’s will throw off $288 million in profit in 2009 and double Dow Jones earnings by 2010.  Harry Potter would be impressed.  Ken Li, Robert MacMillan, Reuters

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