FIFA's former vice-president just cited an Onion article to defend himself after arrest

Screen Shot 2015 05 31 at 1.43.00 PMJack Warner/FacebookWarner displays a printed copy of the Onion’s story.

Jack Warner, FIFA’s former vice president, was released from a jail in Trinidad and Tobago on Friday.

Warner turned himself in to authorities after US officials leveled a variety of accusations at him related to his 30-year tenure at the international soccer governing body.

The charges include wire fraud conspiracy, money laundering conspiracy, and racketeering conspiracy.

Nevertheless, Warner remains undaunted. And he’s using a satirical article from “The Onion” to back up his argument.

In a video posted his official Facebook page on Sunday, Warner said he knows the true reason US law has descended on the venerable sports organisation:

“I think it is pathetic and sad for me to be accused of deals in FIFA, which I am not guilty of. How do you justify, for example, that after all these, these accusations that the president of FIFA, Sepp Blatter, has been elected for a fifth consecutive term,” Warner said.

“If I was so bad, and if FIFA is so bad, then how come the head of FIFA is not? And then I looked to see that FIFA has frantically announced 2015 — 2015, this year, this year — Olympic final … in the World Cup, begin May 27th.

“If FIFA is so bad, why is it the USA wants to keep the FIFA World Cup? Why is it they began games on May 27th? May 27th, two days before FIFA elections. Why is it the US authorities sought to embarrass FIFA in Zurich? Something has to be wrong.”

Indeed, something has to be wrong.

And it’s that Warner is referring to an Onion report that FIFA announced a special summer 2015 World Cup would be held in the US.

 Warner then cites the report as proof of a US conspiracy to humble FIFA.

“I made the point to you over and over that all these things have stemmed from the failed US bid to host the World Cup,” Warner said. “I said before I say again: The US applied to host the World Cup in 2022 and they lost the bid to Qatar — a small country, and Arabic country, a Muslim country.

“I can understand the US embarrassment at a small country as Qatar, with less than 30,000 people … citizens … could have been able to overcome them this way. I could understand their pain but no one gives them the right to do what they are doing.

I said before I say again: That no one country has any divine right to host the World Cup.”

Qatar has a population of about 2.1 million, about 260,000 of which are citizens (while the rest are expatriates).

All inaccuracies aside, a new report from The Wall Street Journal further implicated Warner in FIFA’s alleged corruption. According to the indictment filed by the US, Warner was closely involved in a vote-buying scheme ahead of the 2010 World Cup held in South Africa.

US authorities allege that, $US10 million was wired from accounts controlled by FIFA to ones in the control of Warner.

Despite the scale of the charges, Warner believes that he, like other figures throughout history, will ultimately be vindicated.

Addressing supporters in Trinidad after his release, he declared, “Nelson Mandela made jail. Gandhi made jail. Castro made jail. So who’s Jack Warner?”

You can see the whole video below.

#JackWarner thanks the Nation and Responds to FFA 2.9M Claim.Get more on
Posted by Jack Warner (Official Page) on Sunday, May 31, 2015

 (h/t Robert Mackey)

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