First things first:
We really had to scrounge for winners this week.
That’s because a lot of people had a not great week. We’re looking at you Donny Deutsch. Also, you Hilary Swank. Geesh.
And you Minka Kelly, though to be fair, it’s not entirely your fault.
Fear not, however, there were some bright spots. Or two.
O'Donnell debuted her much-ballyhooed new talk show on OWN on Monday night and the ratings are less than inspiring. The LA Times reported that O'Donnell pulled in 470,000 total viewers.
But it gets worse.
'Oprah's Lifeclass,' Winfrey's newest show for the network and the one she's been pumping up for weeks now, only drew 330,000 people.
Add this to the list of astonishingly stupid things people on cable TV have said: MSNBC's Donny Deutsch thinks Occupy Wall St. needs a Kent State moment.
Not dead people, per se, just violent (or so we are left to conclude).
Frankel told Ellen DeGeneres in September that she got lost at Sea for 20 hours when she was travelling from Block Island to Nantucket.
Then earlier this week it came out that not only did Frankel have the Bravo camera crew with her, but also that she really was in no danger. They also said that she did in fact have GPS on the boat, which she originally said she did not.
And now Forbes is looking into the Skinnygirl empire controversy, because according to a quarterly report from the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission, the company actually sold for $8.1 million, and they say that the company will probably earn only $25 million over time.
Yeah, Hilary Swank and Jean-Claude Van Damme played their recent trip to Chechnya very, very wrong. Here's an itemized list of their mistakes.
1. Unlike Eva Mendes and Kevin Costner, Swank and Van Damme RSVPed 'yes' to the birthday party of Chechen leader Ramzan Kadyrov, who's accused of allowing widespread abduction and torture of his constituents.
2. Swank's manager confirmed that she would not be attending on Sept. 26.
3. Swank and Van Damme jetted off to the party -- which reportedly had a 'portraits of the evil leader everywhere' theme.
Michael Lewis is making the rounds to support his new book, 'Boomerang,' and his television appearances continue to be terrific.
Here's Lewis telling Piers Morgan why he thinks the Occupy Wall St. movement 'has legs.'
And here he is telling the fascinating story about the monks who are responsible for the Greek financial crisis.
But don't be fooled -- DeGeneres may be all light and fun, but it's tireless work and ambition that's gotten her here.
By 'here,' we mean: making an estimated $45 million a year.
Suspected celebrity hacker Chris Chaney, the man allegedly responsible for leaking naked pictures of Scarlett Johansson and Mila Kunis, has been caught.
He looks sort of what you'd expect him to look like.
New Yorkers will now be able to get even more Alec Baldwin.
WNYC, New York's NPR member station, announced on Thursday that Baldwin will host a new podcast there titled, 'Here's the Thing.'
This may not come as a total surprise for regular WNYC listeners -- Baldwin has been part of their on-air fundraising initiative for a while now.
From the sounds of the press release, the show will provide a platform for Baldwin to give everyone his opinion.
Are you wondering what 'Real Steel' is? It's a futuristic 'Dreamworks' movie starring Hugh Jackman about boxing robots.
Yes. In its second week out it also trumped the totally unnecessary 'Footloose' remake at the box office this weekend. Other thing
Let's let Nikki Finke sum things up:
'Seriously, do movie moguls get into showbiz just to green light unnecessary remakes of teen movies, prequels to horror movies, or unfunny comedies that humiliate big stars like Owen Wilson, Jack Black, and Steve Martin? Apparently so, based on this weekend's trio of major opening films.'
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