- I talked to six matchmakers who work with millionaires about the elite dating world of the super-rich for Business Insider’s month-long series, “Dating Like a Millionaire.”
- They said that when it comes to dating, the biggest difference for millionaires compared to the average Joe is money – but not just because money can buy fancy dates and high-end matchmaking services.
- Money can pose a problem for both the millionaires and their matches.
- Visit Business Insider’s homepage for more stories.
They say money can’t buy happiness – but can it buy love?
To find out, I spent several weeks talking to six matchmakers around the world who play cupid for high-net-worth individuals, from royals and celebrities to entrepreneurs and CEOs. In Business Insider’s new month-long series, “Dating Like a Millionaire,” I’ll be exploring the jet-set dating world of the rich and the elite – complete with everything from Lamborghinis to houses in the Hamptons.
I began every interview by asking each matchmaker to explain how dating as a millionaire and dating as an everyday person differ. The consensus – money is the biggest difference – was fairly obvious, but some of the implications came as more of a surprise.
The challenges of dating when you’re super-rich
Having several zeroes to your name allows for a bit of splurging. Millionaires can go on lavish dates the average Joe can’t afford – think private-jet trips to Paris or a two-week vacation in Bali, both real dates cited by matchmakers – and invest in elite matchmaking services to help them on their quest for love.
As Janis Spindel of Janis Spindel Serious Matchmaking Inc. in New York told Business Insider: “Money is not an issue, so anything goes.”
But there are also some potential repercussions of dating when you’re part of the super-rich elite.
For example, resentment can set in if one person pays all the time, Mairead Molloy, global director of elite matchmaking agency Berkeley International, headquartered in London, told Business Insider.
Millionaires also have to consider whether people are dating them for the wrong reasons – money may play a role in someone’s perceived romantic interest in high-net-worth individuals. As April Davis of Luma Search, which has offices across the US, told Business Insider, “You have to determine if money is the motive behind their feelings for you or if it’s genuine.”
And millionaires are more likely to attract gold diggers if there’s a significant difference in the degree of wealth between them and their match, Amy Anderson of Linx Dating – known as the “cupid of Silicon Valley” – told Business Insider.
The role of the elite matchmaker, as told by the elite matchmaker
Elite matchmakers act as gatekeepers; several told me they “just know” when they see a gold digger.
Many also have an in-depth vetting process when it comes to selecting dates for their high-net-worth clients. For example, Anderson’s team has a multi-step method that involves specific questions and in-person screenings.
Spindel’s clients are men only, and women apply to be members the men can be matched with. Spindel also offers a gay division for millionaires. The required application and 30-minute interview for members includes fees that serve as a barrier for golddiggers, she said – application fees are $US25 and interviews run from $US250 to $US1,250.
During the interview, Spindel gets a feel for potential members and their personality by asking “a lot of personal questions.”
Her daughter Carly, also a matchmaker at Janis Spindel Serious Matchmaking Inc, told Business Insider that money can breed a sense of entitlement – men who are super successful are ambitious and picky, she said.
But it’s not just billionaires who have high expectations of their dating services and their dates.
As Patti Stanger of Los Angeles-based Millionaire’s Club told Business Insider, “The richest can expect you to jump all day long, but the low-level millionaire can be a diva, too.”