Maureen Dowd Got Way Too High On Dope And Chardonnay, And Freaked Out

New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd was somewhere around Denver on the edge of the Rockies when the drugs began to take hold.

“But then I felt a scary shudder go through my body and brain. I barely made it from the desk to the bed, where I lay curled up in a hallucinatory state for the next eight hours. I was thirsty but couldn’t move to get water. Or even turn off the lights,” Dowd wrote in her latest column, which was published Wednesday.

Once Dowd crawled into bed, she really began to get the Fear.

“I strained to remember where I was or even what I was wearing, touching my green corduroy jeans and staring at the exposed-brick wall. As my paranoia deepened, I became convinced that I had died and no one was telling me,” she wrote.

Dowd said her long, strange trip was the result of a single marijuana candy bar — and some chardonnay. She decided to experiment with weed in order write a column examining Colorado’s new marijuana legalization law, which took effect in January.

Needless to say, Dowd isn’t exactly a fan.

After Dowd woke up from her drug-induced near death experience, she said she interviewed a “medical consultant at an edibles plant” who told her the pot candy bar she ate was actually “supposed to be cut into 16 pieces for novices,” a direction that “hadn’t been on the label.”

Due to her experience and several reported incidents she cited where people in Colorado were hurt or killed after consuming marijuana, Dowd concluded the pot policy in the Rock Mountain State still has some “kinks” that need to be “ironed out.”

“The state is also coming to grips with the darker side of unleashing a drug as potent as marijuana on a horde of tourists of all ages and tolerance levels seeking a mellow buzz,” wrote Dowd.

What a total bummer.

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