Once upon a time, Howie and Christine Kohlenberg of New York decided to go on Jerry Seinfeld‘s (somewhat awful) show “The Marriage Ref,” which purports to settle real couples’ arguments.
What followed, for the Kohlenbergs, was an accelerated version of the reality TV gauntlet that’s chewed up and spit out everyone from Kate Gosselin to Hulk Hogan‘s family.
Step one: the Kohlenbergs cooked up their marriage problems so that they could get on the show for publicity.
Step two: Producers helped them come up with a realistic narrative.
Step three: Producers had them all “souped up” and convinced that “the next day, we’d be stars.”
Step four: Mrs. Kohlenberg fell in love with the camera.
Step five: She got plastic surgery.
Step six: She left Frank — and their young son — and ran off to Hollywood, where she’s currently “modelling” and starring in an “indie film.” (The quotation marks are extremely important in that sentence.)
Step seven: Frank is back on TV, whining to “Good Morning America” that Seinfeld ruined his marriage — and, of course, hyping his Midtown Manhattan spa.
If you don’t already feel like you need a shower, watch the video below for the full effect.
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