Upper East Side Dad Explains The Brutal Market Facing Divorced Ladies Who Lunch

lilly van der woodsen

Upper East Side dad, entrepreneur and author Richard Kirshenbaum has another instalment of his column ‘Isn’t That Rich’ in the NY Observer today — this one goes out to all the Ladies who Lunch.

The point of the column is to examine the culture of adults on the Upper East Side, and in this edition Kirshenbaum talks about the prospects for a divorced woman in the neighbourhood.

The headline is Dating Tips for Uptown Divorcées: Middle-Aged Millionaires Are Just Not That Into You — that should tell you a lot of what you need to know, really.

From the NYO:

Where most rich divorcées fail is in assuming they can replace their husbands with a newer model pretty much like the old one. Sorry to say, this tends not to be the case. Most of the time, the divorced well-to-do male is not looking for his equal, but rather for a sexretary from the Midwest, preferably without an opinion. As one recently divorced hedge funder told me: “Being married to a smart, opinionated woman is work! Now I just want tits on a stick, a blonde wig and someone to tell me I’m great when I get home.”

Women who take a tough line often wind up lonelier for it. At a political fund-raiser, my wife Dana and I were chatting with a well-regarded financier’s ex-wife, who clearly exhibited pre-realistic dating tendencies. She laid out her requests like the Marshall Plan: “My age or younger. I won’t date a geezer. Rich—the richer the better. Sexy. OK, let’s just cut to the chase: my ex if he had abs and a personality.”

According to Kirshenbaum, that woman is still alone.

In the end, he says, the most successful women focus on either money (go for an older man), sex (go for a younger man), or companionship for themselves and their kids (might be a fixer-upper, but this generally works best).

The full column is a pretty fun read, to grab it head to the NYO>

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