In his New Rules segment tonight, Bill Maher went after presidential candidates who sign pledges, like the Grover Norquist anti-tax one that 95% of Republicans have signed, and the defence of marriage pledge that recently got Michele Bachmann in some hot water recently.
“Pledges are how modern candidates send the message, ‘I’m not just a bigger arsehole than you are, I’m willing to put it in writing.'”
Maher was particularly hard on Tea Partiers, people who he says describe themselves as “rugged individualists who love freedom” but who then swear to do as they are told.
To complete with the onslaught of pledges, Maher came up with his own, called the “American Eagle Liberty Bill Ronald Reagan You’re A Homo If You Don’t Sign It Pledge.”
There are seven planks to the pledge, including:
– After this you can’t sign any more stupid pledges
– No driving a truck or eating at a diner or any other “homespun kiss-arse bullshit you wouldn’t normally do”
– No more flag pins (“You’re running for President of the United States, I think we can safely assume you’re on the team”)
– Most importantly, “you must pledge that you will tell voters the simple truth: that America’s best days are behind us, but that you will help manage our inevitable decline and do your best to see that we fall as gracefully as possible and really stick the landing.”