A GIRLFRIEND SPILLS: Here's What It's Like Living With My Neurotic Banker Boyfriend

frustrated love

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A crazy dating story is always entertaining, but here at Clusterstock we abide by the mantra that the best stories of ridiculous love come from dating bankers.A young woman who wanted to remain anonymous spoke with Clusterstock about her experiences dating and living with her boyfriend, who is a banker at a top-tier investment bank. For the sake of clarity, let’s refer to her as Lucy.

Lucy—who does not work in the financial industry—and her boyfriend have been living together for almost a year, and dating for nearly two years. Lucy knew her boyfriend was a bit obsessive compulsive about his lifestyle, she didn’t expect the level of neurosis that greeted her when they began living together.

Although she’s gotten used to her banker boyfriend’s bizarre antics and says she enjoys living with him, Lucy shared some of his most hilarious habits with us.

When they first moved in together, he spent 2 hours picking out an office chair.

Before Lucy and her boyfriend moved into their apartment last year, they spent two hours at an office store measuring chairs, because he had to have the perfect one.

'The chair had to fit perfectly under his desk and it had to have a certain amount of swivel radius in relation to the wall,' Lucy explained.

It's a New York apartment, so of course the two had to share a closet, and madness ensued.

Lucy's banker boyfriend is very particular about his shoes.

He has about 4 to 5 pairs of leather shoes for work--and he's very protective of them.

'His shoes has to stay on their own rack, because he's afraid dirt from my shoes is going to get near his or on his,' she said.

He's not just particular about shoes... his clothes have to have their personal space too.

As dress is an important part of a banker's job, it's no surprise that Lucy's boyfriend is also concerned about how his clothes are treated in the closet.

His suit jackets and pants have to be hung a certain way, and have to have a certain amount of space in the closet. He's afraid if they're pushed up too close together, they'll get wrinkled--so he'll squish Lucy's clothes to the side instead, she explained.

Also, 'my jackets and my pants that I hang in the closet cannot be touched up against his jackets. He's afraid lint will get on the jackets, or that they'll wrinkle,' she added

Lucy said she has to help her boyfriend pack for a business trip because he gets too frustrated by trying to fold and pack his clothes without wrinkling them.

What's more, Lucy said her boyfriend has to leave the room when she helps him pack.

'Because I'm not a super perfectionist, if he sees that I'm packing it in a way that could wrinkle, he'll just freak out and the packing process will implode,' she explained.

He has concocted a morning ritual deciding which tie to wear.

Lucy's banker boyfriend also has a very tedious tie-shirt matching process. For him, there are shirts that will go with a lot of his ties, but there are shirts that will only only go with a certain patterned or certain coloured tie.

Picking and matching ties and shirts every morning has almost become a ritual to Lucy.

'Every morning, he'll hold shirts and ties up to himself and asks for my opinion,' Lucy said. 'And the Qs will generally be like 'Too bright? Too busy? Too clashy?''

The tie process will usually take up 5 to 10 minutes of her morning.

He spreadsheets his workouts.

Those that work on Wall Street love to put everything into a spreadsheet--and Lucy's boyfriend is no exception.

According to Lucy, her boyfriend uses an anatomy of body building book to plan and schedule his workouts into a spreadsheet. He has a schedule for what routine he should do everyday based on the book.

The spreadsheet says something like--'Monday: work triceps, see ## exercise in book; leg lifts, see ## exercise in book.'

Lucy said her boyfriend will also record how much he does of each workout, which is formulated to track his overall progress.

He also has a spreadsheet for a doomsday scenario.

Like many bankers working insane hours and forced to do mindless work, Lucy's boyfriend hates his job.

'He uses a spreadsheet to figure out how much money he has in the bank, how much money he can rely on if he quit his job,' she said.

Despite that, 'he's always talking about how much he hates his life and his job, but they're never going to do it.

He'll apply wonky financial concepts and knowledge to lighthearted things.

When Lucy sent her boyfriend an email link with a news article of a funny, unlikely rumour of a possible buyout of the company she worked at, he gave her a complete financial analysis of how it could be pulled off.

'You can't share funny information with him without it turning into a lecture about being financially irresponsible or something,' she said.

But! Despite her boyfriend's sometimes obsessive behaviour, Lucy said she still loves her boyfriend for who he is.

'Everything's organised, I don't have to worry about anything, especially bills--which always get paid,' she said.

Lucy said having her boyfriend around is almost like having a personal accountant, which is helpful in New York when everything is so expensive and it's easy to lose track of one's expenses.

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