Back in the olden days, you know, in 2009, a video could pop up on the internet and stay relevant for weeks, even months. The 24-hour viral machine we know and love today wasn’t as fast six or seven years ago. It was a different time.
One of the ‘net’s favourite viral video characters was a little kid named Curtis, whose family signed up for the show “Wife Swap.”
The show’s premise was simple: Two families with very different values, priorities, schedules, and routines would swap matriarchs. For a little bit, each mum would live by their new family’s rules. Then, the tables would turn and the family would live by their new mum’s rules. No one would easily adjust. Drama. Then, each family was to walk away having learned something about themselves, their spouses, their kids, and their lives.
Curtis, probably about eight or nine at the time, found himself living under the regime of new mum Joy, who dismissed Curtis’ addiction to chicken nuggets and processed meats. “King” Curtis’ tag line was “Bacon is good for me!” and he often screamed it at Joy when she was trying to rid the family fridge of junk food.
Most famously, he told the camera in a thick southern accent that Joy “is acting like she’s the Queen and we’re the sorry people!” He also packed a small suitcase and attempted to flee the house until Joy went home to her own family.
The internet fell in love with Curtis. If you need to refresh your memory, watch the whole video below (uploaded in 2009 with about 8 million views):
Personally, I think about King Curtis and his love of bacon a few times a week. I really respect the passion he has for pork while also demonstrating a complete disregard for authority. So it was very exciting when I came across an update from Curtis, seemingly his first since becoming the internet’s favourite ruler over half a decade ago.
The video, uploaded in August to a channel belonging to Curtis Holland, is titled, “King Curtis Bacon is good for me Update.”
Curtis addresses viewers (a little over 2,000 at the time of this post) from a throne. He is older now.
“I was going through Instagram,” he says, “when I figured out Lucy Hale wanted an update on my life.”
Sure enough, Lucy Hale, of ABC’s “Pretty Little Liars,” recently posted this to Instagram:
“Can someone tell me where King Curtis is these days? Because I need a recent photo. I need to know if he still loves chicken nuggets. And if bacon is still good for him,” her caption reads.
“After the show,” Curtis tells the camera, “somebody put a video clip on YouTube. Well the video got 8 million hits. In 2012, a production company came to film a pilot show. And as of today, no networks have came to pick up the show.”
He then puts a piece of bacon in his mouth and instructs viewers to “call the networks if you want to see the show.”
Anyway, Curtis goes on to tell his viewers what he really wants: Money. Specifically, your money! To buy a “1970s muscle car.” He gets his learner’s permit next year, he explains, and he wants to restore a muscle car, “but that’s just too expensive!”
Here’s the thing: Curtis and his family didn’t get paid to be on “Wife Swap,” and they also see no ad revenue from the massively successful YouTube video that made King Curtis a cultural icon of our time.
So maybe you want to donate money to the GoFundMe page he set up so that he can buy a car.
He wants you know he still loves bacon. So much so, he branded some himself:
Watch King Curtis’ full update below:
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