Great things are happening inside JPMorgan’s headquarters right now as they update everything to make it “green.”Sadly, the positive changes have claimed a victim: The cafeteria.
The JPM office (headquarters) has been making environmentally friendly renovations for a while now and the effects they’re having on the people inside the office are significant, despite how flippantly JPM relayed information about the update to employees.
A little while back, everyone in the office got a memo about the renovations that said, (paraphrasing): the office is going green, the renovations will take about 8 months, and in order to make these changes, the office cafeteria will be closed for 8 months.
The bank closed the Starbucks and the entire cafeteria a little while ago. So right now, there is no coffee and no food (RIP new waffle maker) inside the JPMorgan office and there won’t be for another ~6 months.
Someone at the bank tells us:
“The coffee part is annoying as [email protected]#k.”
Imagine an office filled with thousands of uncaffeinated, underslept, hungry bankers. On the upside, now everyone has an excuse to get out of the office for lunch, a coffee, water, waffles, etc.
But someone at the bank also told us: “I think everyone was fired.”
Remember that ugly jobs report from earlier today?
The Census firings rocked that one a lot harder than JPM’s cafeteria could have, but it’s was relevant and now you can go read something really important.
A JPMorgan spokeswoman didn’t respond yet to our request for a comment.
UPDATE: We now hear, from another source familiar with the matter, that:
- The JPM cafeterias across the streets at 383 madison and 277 park have not been affected.
- The cafeteria is run by an outside vendor, not JPM directly, and they decide where to place, or not place, its employees.
- Coffee is available on every floor and there is food service on the 4th floor with hot entrees, salads, sandwiches, etc. (No Starbucks, though.)
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