Jimmy Kimmel was hauled in for some comic relief at the ABC upfront this afternoon — and though potshots at other networks are par for the course, his barbs were particularly sharp.
Here, our favourites:
On the advertisers in attendance:
“Remember all those shows we were so excited about last fall? We cancelled all of them. And yet here you all are. I think you may have a gambling problem.”
On ABC’s “Shark Tank”:
“You know what someone should invent on ‘Shark Tank?’ Something to replace ‘Shark Tank.'”
On Fox’s “The X Factor”:
“I think it’s the best idea of 2002. It’s like ‘American Idol’ meets a mirror.”
On NBC’s desperate situation — Kimmel joked that they’ll sell ads on Groupon this year:
“You can get a 30-second spot on ‘The Office’ and a Thai massage for 35 bucks.”
On networks losing viewers due to technology… and other things:
“CBS is losing them due to natural causes.”
On Ashton Kutcher joining “Two and a Half Men”:
“He did a very good job replacing Bruce Willis.”
Kimmel closed by asking for a standing ovation. The audience declined.
He sucked it up: “We’ll save it for next year.”
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