This jilted bride's poetic eBay listing for a 'rejected' wedding dress is incredibly depressing

A bride who never got to walk down the aisle is selling her brand new wedding dress on eBay.

As if that wasn’t depressing enough, the ad itself is written from the perspective of the gown.

The bride, who goes by the handle “IJustHeardTheShopBellRing” on eBay, is from the UK, and tells Metro her slated city hall wedding in Manhattan fell apart just hours before she was going to say “I do” when she and her then-fiance decided to end the relationship.

“Rejected wedding dress seeks lasting love and holy matrimony,” the listing reads.

The item’s description reads:

I was supposed to be worn at City Hall in New York.

I was going to be the main attraction of a 60s wedding theme.

I was going to be low-key, but elegant (I still am, for that matter).

I was going to complement a 60s updo, nude courts and a bouquet of Lily of the Valley.

When my owner put on a dress just like me in Selfridges, she knew I was the one so she ordered me online and had me delivered to her husband-to-be in Brooklyn.

I’m not over the top, nor am I too dressed down, and she thought she could perhaps wear me to other occasions in the future.

She thought I was a dress she could look back on and smile, not cringe at fashion faux pas (she was right).

When I arrived, she kept me sealed in my box so nothing could ruin me.

Then they split up.

And she kept me in the box.

Because she couldn’t bear to look at me.

I am a constant reminder to her of what could have been.

So she wants to sell me.

Not necessarily to a bride, but to anyone looking to give me the home I deserve.

A home where I’ll get worn and admired and dry-cleaned (as and when necessary).

She can’t take me back to DVF because they no longer stock me.

I’m limited edition, if you like.

And the first time I have been taken out of my box is for these photos.

Because who’s going to buy a dress based on a picture of a box?

I can’t wait to be worn by you (and to see the back of my cardboard confines once and for all).


Zarita (in Ivory).


Here’s a photo of the dress included in the listing:

The ivory lace number from Diane von Furstenberg is long-sleeved and is “a brand-new, unused, unworn and undamaged item in the original packaging (such as the original box or bag) and/or with the original tags attached” but comes with an invisible accessory — the saddest history ever.

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