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We’re living in a “post-dating world,” according to author Jessica Massa. If women expect to find romantic happiness, they have to forget about looking for “The One” and fill their lives with tons of men.Women have all been groomed for the traditional rules of dating: wear red, don’t get drunk or bring up your ex on a date, and wait to sleep with him. But the old rules no longer apply, Massa writes in her new book “The Gaggle.”
“Dates are now the exception instead of the rule,” Massa says. She elaborates:
It’s easy to feel like your love life is nonexistent. You know you’re great, so why haven’t you been on a classic dinner-and-a-movie date since . . . well, forever? Because as it turns out, you are now living in a post-dating world, where the old rules for sex and relationships no longer apply. Suddenly, everything and nothing is a date. But this means that you have much more going on in your love life than you realise.
She says that in order to navigate the current environment, men and women alike should evaluate everyone they encounter, from a spin class buddy to a coworker to cross-country ex, and go on “non-dates” with them:
The gaggle is the group of guys in your life who play different roles, fulfil different needs, and help you figure out who you are, what you want, and what kind of relationship you ultimately desire. Though no two gaggles are alike, there are 10 types of men a gaggle might include, such as the Ego Booster, the Hot Sex Prospect, and the Boyfriend Prospect. Romance, excitement, self-discovery, love . . . all this will be yours, once you stop stressing about dates, labels, and expectations and start thinking of each man you know and meet as a potential guy in your gaggle.
Being surrounded by guys, whether they’re potential romantic partners or friends, helps to boost your confidence and realise what qualities you enjoy in people.
Having a “gaggle” also takes the pressure off dating and increases your probability of romantic success, Massa says.
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