Tomorrow’s hangover never dies.
James Bond’s licence to kill should be revoked, his beloved snub-nosed Beretta hand gun surrendered and his mainstay Walther PPK returned.
007 drinks so much that his physical, mental and sexual performance has plunged to dangerous levels.
He needs to dry out. Quickly.
Medical researchers suspect the “shaken, not stirred” instruction for a Bond Martini could be because of alcohol-induced tremors affecting his hands.
Studying all Ian Flemming’s 14 Bond books, the researchers calculated that the secret agent’s weekly alcohol consumption is more than four times the recommended level.
On average, Bond drinks 92 units of alcohol a week and he had only 12.5 alcohol free days out of 87.5 days.
There are clues to his drinking problems in the Bond books.
In Thunderball he recognises his high alcohol intake and that he feels better drinking less.
In Casino Royale he drinks 39 units of alcohol before a high speed car chase which sees him lose control and spend 14 days in hospital. We assume that gave him a break from the booze.
He also admits to having the odd morning eye-opener.
Also in Thunderball, and again in the Living Daylights, he gets annoyed when challenged about his drinking by the head of the Secret Service, M.
There are no documented instances of alcohol-associated guilt but an international spy and assassin doesn’t have much use for remorse.
Bond’s alcohol intake by book:
A study, published in the British Journal BMJ, recommends Bond be immediately referred for medical assessment, treatment and a reduction in alcohol consumption to safe levels.
The medical researchers, who set out to determine whether Bond was a connoisseur or a chronic alcoholic, say:
He is at considerable risk of developing alcoholic liver disease, cirrhosis, impotence, and other alcohol related health problems, together with being at serious risk of injury or death because of his drinking.
Although we appreciate the societal pressures to consume alcohol when working with international terrorists and high stakes gamblers, we would advise Bond be referred for further assessment of his alcohol intake and reduce his intake to safe levels.
Bond’s creator, journalist and newspaper editor Ian Fleming, who died at the age of 56, enjoyed smoking and drinking to excess.
Some say the habits of his literary character, James Bond, were similar to his own.
Bond’s alcohol consumption tracked across the years, according to the publication of each Bond book:
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