It's Time To Put Bank Of America Out Of Business

They can only be the one per cent so long as we keep feeding them our money.

I would have to imagine that any list of “to-be-guillotined jerks” would include Bank of America CEO Brian Moynihan.

He’s smarmy, in the way that makes regular folks like my mum want to reach across the table and slap the snot out of him. He combines this elite mix of arrogance and ignorance that allows him to function as a CEO while living in a world where no one, and I mean no one, seems to want to call him out on his bad decisions and incredibly obtuse statements.

Showing that he has absolutely no loyalty to his customers, Moynihan and BAC has decided to tack on a $5 a month fee to anyone who uses one of their debit cards during the month. Why? Because Congress found that banks were charging astronomical, arbitrary fees to retailers who allowed consumers to use debit cards. When Congress figured out what was going on, they passed a law limiting those fees.

Now they want to tack on a $5 per user fee to their debit cards, not to recoup the costs of the processing program, but simply because they are gluttonous monsters who feel they can do whatever they damn well please.

“After years of raking in excess profits off an unfair and anti-competitive interchange system, Bank of America is trying to find new ways to pad their profits by sticking it to its customers,” Senator Dick Durbin said in a statement Thursday. “It’s overt, unfair and I hope their customers have the final say.”

It’s worse that just padding their profits simply because they can. They are doing so just months after the company took a giant bailout loan from the U.S. taxpayer. Can you even imagine the gall? Could you imagine taking a life-saving loan from a friend, and then, once you’re back on your feet, you charge him money to use anything?

It’s not like the banks are losing money on debit cards. They still make money off the deposits in those accounts, which with fractional banking, is an obscene amount of profit. They still can charge $0.24 per transaction to retailers…just not the $0.44 they were charging before. The excuse that they need this money and therefore can justify no-lube sticking it to their customers is just pure, unadulterated crap.

Not to worry. America’s favourite hackers have uncovered the personal details of one Brian Moynihan. Want to file a protest with him? Mail it to his residence at 26 Wachusett Rd., Wellesley Hills, MA 02481. Or perhaps you want to call and let him know his $5 fee is a crock and that you’re switching banks. If so, try him at (781) 235-1004. Just be polite and let him know I sent you.

Now, it’s probably illegal to actively encourage a bank run *wink wink*, but if a lot of folks who banked with a jackass zombie bank like Bank of America JUST HAPPENED to close their account at the same time, on the same day, that would certainly get their attention, wouldn’t it?

Well, Moynihan clearly needs to be smacked across the face with that clue by four, doesn’t he? Perhaps Americans will empty out their bank accounts at Bank of America and instead deposit those funds in a local credit union. Why a credit union? There are a number of reasons, actually.

Credit unions are owned by their members. When you make a deposit into a credit union account, you’re actually becoming a member, an owner… and not a customer. Because credit unions are owned by the very people who use the services, the fees are low or minimal. You will be hard pressed to find a credit union that would ever charge anything as outrageous as Bank of America’s $5 fee.

Credit unions are also non-profit entities. While banks suck away every penny they can get their grubby little hands on, credit unions focus on service within the community. While a bank will gladly hike fees to increase profits, credit unions have a structural incentive to keep fees low. I mean, would you raise your own rent? Of course not!

Which brings me back to the original point. Why on earth would you keep your money in a bank when a credit union is a better deal? This is doubly true when you consider what your money is funding. Money kept in banks like Bank of America go right toward the profits that line the pockets of scumbags like Moynihan, who take and take and take, and have no idea how to give back to society in any meaningful way.

In the meantime, activists have set up a date to make your political statement with your money. On November 5, 2011, close your account at Bank of America and other large, destructive banks, and instead deposit that money in a local credit union account. If it happens to harm their bottom line, you can bet your bottom dollar we the people won’t stand for bailing them out again.

Moynihan, however, would be welcome to swing by my place and try to collect his $5.

–John Thorpe

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