Once Julian Assange’s OKCupid profile was discovered and creepy stalker emails he sent to a 19 year old girl were put on the internet, it was perhaps only a matter of time before the ghost of Anna Nicole Smith appeared on the scene.
Death, as it turns out, has proved little obstacle for Anna Nicole Smith in generating gossip — both in the blogosphere, as well as in the Bahamas, where top secret ultra classified government cables reveal the havoc that Anna Nicole Smith wreaked on the once peaceful Carribean islands.
From the actual cables:
Several months into her Bahamian residency, American B-list celebrity and regular entertainment television fixture Anna Nicole Smith has changed the face of Bahamian politics. Not since Category 4 Hurricane Betsy made landfall in 1965 has one woman done as much damage in Nassau.
Lying in disarray in her wake are Doctor’s Hospital, the Coroner’s Court, the Department of Immigration, local mega-lawyers Callenders and Co., formerly popular Minister of Immigration Shane Gibson, and possibly Prime Minister Christie’s PLP government.
Short version: Anna got residency too quickly.
Anna’s celebrity status was cited as the cause for her expedited residency application. Pictures of Anna Nicole Smith and Gibson cuddling in bed didn’t help matters, frankly.
“The Anna Nicole scandal has recast Gibson as puppet of the privileged rather than defender of the common people of The Bahamas,” the cable declares provocatively.
“Not since Wallace Simpson dethroned a King and came to Nassau has an American femme fatale so captivated the Bahamian public and dominated local politics.”
Welcome back, Anna. We didn’t realise it before, but we’ve missed you.
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