Business Insider’s Joe Weisenthal recently shined a light on MarketWatch.com columnist Paul B. Farrell’s latest unintentionally hilarious “behavioural Economics” column.
I’ve learned something brand new today: the next time I go on a bender and start incoherently rambling about a book I glanced at in the self-help aisle the other day, I need only explain to those around me that I’m working on my new “behavioural Economics” column. Behaving. Economically. To help my readers, man. That’s why I do all of this painstaking research: to help you get rich. Rich beyond your wildest dreams.
What I’m getting at here is that Farrell might be deemed absolutely insane by almost any objective third party, if it were not for the fancy MarketWatch columnist title. Here’s an excerpt from his latest “commentary”:
How? Becker goes deeper than Wall Street’s aggressive, narcissistic and dangerously obsessive inner child. Becker’s views expose Wall Street’s blind, insatiable death wish … why it exists … why they deny it … why it’s growing … and ultimately why this “guy thing,” their out-of-control macho testosterone culture is hell-bent on more than self-destruction … why Wall Street secretly wants to destroy American capitalism and democracy … and why, unless Venus conquers Mars … unless women gain more power on Wall Street, Washington and Corporate America … unless a new collective Venus triggers a paradigm shift, soon … Mars, Wall Street, the Alpha-male will continue winning … and killing capitalism and democracy. Becker’s opening paragraph cuts deep:
The prospect of death … woefully concentrates the mind … the idea of death, the fear of it, haunts the human animal like nothing else. It is the mainspring of human activity — activity designed largely to avoid the fatality of death, to overcome it by denying in some way that it is the final destiny of man.
It keeps going on like that for a while. I’m not entirely sure how readers are supposed to trade on that psycho-babble. And it’s not even fresh psycho-babble; didn’t John grey’s Men Are From Mars stuff come out in 1993 or 1994?
Also, does this guy dictate his columns via telegraph or something? Every other sentence trails off. Wall Street … not good … too much greed … too many men … need more ladies up in here … STOP. That was exhausting. Another day’s work done, hand me a cigar and a Klonopin, good sir.
Am I Being Mean?
Maybe. But I am hardly alone. My distaste of Farrell’s anachronistic jibberish is in good company.
Here’s a reader comment from trueamerican1 that has my back: “Dear Marketwatch, you really need to consider upgrading your editorial staff. Articles like this one are only fit for the recycle bin on my desktop.”
Marketskeptic is similarly unimpressed with Farrell: “I saved myself some time and didn’t even bother to read this article. As soon as I saw the word ‘armageddon’ and the phrase ‘the end is near’ in the headline I knew it was a big waste of time. Farrell has become laughably predictable.”
Nexus974 goes right for the jugular: “It’s sad to see a mind beginning to slip away. It’s time to call it a career Paul!”
Perhaps the best reader comment over on MarketWatch, though, has to be this one: “FARRELL…YOU MIGHT THINK ABOUT SOME THORAZINE….ASK YOUR DOCTOR..”
Said by someone who knows, I suppose.