An investment banker at a mid-town Manhattan office wrote the following Seamless review after ordering a rare roast beef sandwich that turned out to be a total disaster.
The review doesn’t appear to have made it through the Seamless review filter system, but it has made the rounds in email inboxes on Wall Street.
Check it out:
“I’d like to caveat this review by stating that I have never, in my entire life, been so compelled as to write a review for any establishment, of any kind. I was somewhat excited when I saw a restaurant that served a “Rare Roast Beef” multigrain bread sandwich – an oft-forgotten delectable way to prepare roast beef in a sandwich, and for $US16 I was expecting top notch. Little did I know what was to come.
We placed the order at 5:38PM (20-30 expected wait) and received no confirmation. We called the restaurant at 6:00, and were told they had not set up their computers…odd, but we took it in stride…so they retook our order by phone (a 10 minute process as the person on the other end struggled through understanding a simple order). We received a call 10 minutes later saying they received the Seamless order. The food came at 6:40PM.
What came was a disaster. My $US16 earned me a 5″ x 5″ *grilled* roast beef *panini* on *white bread* – 0/3 – not rare, not multigrain, and not a sandwich. There must have been 1 oz of meat on the sandwich, twice as thick in bread as meat, for sixteen dollars. Who charges sixteen dollars for a sandwich anyways?
My colleague ordered a burger (a simple burger) “medium well”. I thought to myself: “that’s odd”…although, it stood out to me as I’ve never seen a burger ordered that well-cooked before. His burger came inedibly rare. Literally, this meat was so rare you would need a master ball to catch it. Needless to say he didn’t eat it for fear of succumbing to microbial pathogens.
[Restaurant Name Redacted], what you’ve just passed as a ~$27 meal per person is one of the most insanely idiotic things in which I have ever participated. At no point in this incompetently misrepresented and overpriced experience were you even close to anything that could be considered as a viable Seamless option. Everyone who ordered this food is now angrier for having done it. I would award you zero stars (except I can’t), and may God have mercy on your soul.”
In case you are wondering, “master ball” is a Pokemon reference.