Check Out The Things People Said To Score A Free Ticket To This Elite Conference

Shit Girls Say

Business Insider is preparing to host the IGNITION West conference on March 21, and this week we promised free tickets to 10 VentureBeat readers who could make a good case for going.

Instantly, the responses started coming in. And the laughter started up in the events office.

So we want to share the best of the responses with you.

But first, some context: IGNITION West is an intense day-long conference focused on the future of mobile, with speakers from Instagram, Zynga, Yelp, Foursquare, Facebook, Disney, Nokia, AOL, Yahoo and more. It takes place next month in San Francisco. The agenda will cover mobile hardware, software, platform and content.

Early-bird tickets are on sale until next week, so get yours before the price jumps. And startups receive a special deal: $399 for a ticket and $799 to upgrade and score booth space on the exhibition floor. The agenda will have specific times dedicated to exploring and networking in the exhibition space. Active investors in stages from early seed to later growth capital will be attending.

We’ll also have a healthy helping of Silicon Valley’s bright minds to speak on the future of game-changing technology, including Michael Arrington, Ben Horowitz, Cory Johnson, Sarah Lacy, and others.

Follow @BI_Events on Twitter to score extra discounts.

Mike Arrington's Love Child

'I'm Michael Arrington's secret love-child, and I want to dramatically confront him with the DNA proof while the cameras are rolling…'

The Love Child also said:

'I have this idea for a revolutionary new dog walking service and if only I could meet Amy Banse and pitch her my idea I'd be set for life (78 million U.S. dogs * 300 days * $2/dog*day = $46 BILLION MARKET!!!)'

We laughed. And considered inviting him to be our Halftime Show during the event. But the agenda, alas, is already packed with great stuff.

The Loser

And then there's the old sympathy ploy:

'I never win ANYTHING -- actually, I won a cappuccino maker years ago but I'm too hyperactive to drink coffee so I gave it away.'

...Too hyper-active to network with speakers like Ben Horowitz?

The Tourists

The Startup Warriors

Some folks told us about how they quit their wage slavery to work for on the Next Big Thing. Or, that they just don't have a lot of money:

'I spent 10 painstaking years in technology investment banking and have finally left to pursue my dream of creating a mobile startup.'

'I quit my cushy 9-5 job in October 2011 to fully emerse myself in the startup world and I am currently in development of my mobile related startup.'

'We're scrappy so will take full advantage of consuming the content, as well as networking.'

Good news: if you're a startup, you can score the reduced rate to IGNITION West.

The Enthusiasts!!!

They love stuff!! Especially events like IGNITION West that are exciting and special and great!! They are enthusiastic about this free ticket!! No, really, trust us!!!

'I love conferences!'

'Pick Me!!'

'I love #WINNING'

'Great to virtually meet you! The top 5 reasons I need to be at Ignition West are...To manifest a fabulous new job that satisfies my need to meld technology and beauty ... To explore my passions and have fun ... Because I would be extremely grateful and that would be great karma for Ignition West'

'I'm totally mobile addicted!'


'Social TV! I've been dreaming about this since I was a kid!'

Are They Serious?

You be the judge:

'I <3 startup pitches; I just can't get enough of that koolaid'

'I want to meet more Business Insider reporters!'

'I love the space and won't gawk at shiny new toys or booth girls.' Um, booth girls? (Is that in the budget?!)

Joking aside: come hear what's next in mobile at IGNITION West while the early-bird special is good! See you in March!

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