16 Ways You Can Win Friends And Influence People

How to Win Friends

Photo: S&S

Before there were Rules, The Art Of Leadership, or any of Covey’s Habits, there was Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends & Influence People

.The secrets to success — listen when others speak, admit when you’re wrong, remember names, lead with appreciation not demoralization — are simple and eternal, and most of us could use a refresher course.

To celebrate 75 years and more than 16 million copies in print, the new and not particularly-improved edition, “How to Win Friends and Influence People in the Digital Age,” is here. If nothing else, we were glad for the reminder to take a well-deserved look at the classic version you can still find on the bookstore shelves.

First and always: Smile.

You need to remember peoples' names.

The average person is more interested in his or her own name than in all the other names on earth put together.

Remember that name and call it easily, and you have paid a subtle and very effective compliment. But forget it or misspell it -- and you have placed yourself at a sharp disadvantage.

from How to Win Friends and Influence People

Give honest and sincere appreciation.

All of us like people who admire us.

Showing a genuine interest in others not only wins friends for you, but may develop in its customers a loyalty to your company.

from How to Win Friends and Influence People

Soften them up with praise.

Beginning with praise is like the dentist who begins his work with Novocain. The patient still gets the drilling, but the Novocain is pain-killing.

A barber lathers a man before he shaves him; and that is precisely what needs to happen before any critical words can be uttered.

It is always easier to listen to unpleasant things after we have heard some praise of our good points.

from How to Win Friends and Influence People

Destroying a man's ego is the worst thing you can do.

Let the other person save face.

'I have no right to say or do anything that diminishes a man in his own eyes. What matters is not what I think of him, but what he thinks of himself. Hurting a man in his dignity is a crime,' -- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

from How to Win Friends and Influence People

Never criticise others.

Be a good listener.

Let others know their self-worth.

You want the approval of those with whom you come in contact.

You want recognition of your true worth.

You want a feeling that you are important in your little world.

The unvarnished truth is that almost all the people you meet feel themselves superior to you in some way. A sure way to their hearts is to let them realise in some subtle way that you recognise their importance, and recognise it sincerely.

from How to Win Friends and Influence People

Be friendly from the start.

Open with topics you and your opponent agree on.

It's OK to lose an argument.

Be sympathetic.

Admit when you're wrong.

Any fool can try to defend his or her mistakes -- and most fools do -- but it raises one above the herd and gives one a feeling of nobility and exultation to admit one's mistakes.

from How to Win Friends and Influence People

Let the other person think the idea is theirs.

Isn't it bad judgment to try to ram your opinions down the throats of other people?

Isn't it wiser to make suggestions -- and let the other person think out the conclusion?

Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.

from How to Win Friends and Influence People

See things from the other person's point of view.

Catch up on more reading

REVEALED: What It's Like To Be A Hooker And Other Crazy Jobs >
BOOK BITES: Check out all of the books we've covered >
Click here to buy the original version of How to Win Friends & Influence People, or pick up the new copy here.

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