Before there were Rules, The Art Of Leadership, or any of Covey’s Habits, there was Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends & Influence People
.The secrets to success — listen when others speak, admit when you’re wrong, remember names, lead with appreciation not demoralization — are simple and eternal, and most of us could use a refresher course.
To celebrate 75 years and more than 16 million copies in print, the new and not particularly-improved edition, “How to Win Friends and Influence People in the Digital Age,” is here. If nothing else, we were glad for the reminder to take a well-deserved look at the classic version you can still find on the bookstore shelves.
The average person is more interested in his or her own name than in all the other names on earth put together.
Remember that name and call it easily, and you have paid a subtle and very effective compliment. But forget it or misspell it -- and you have placed yourself at a sharp disadvantage.
Beginning with praise is like the dentist who begins his work with Novocain. The patient still gets the drilling, but the Novocain is pain-killing.
A barber lathers a man before he shaves him; and that is precisely what needs to happen before any critical words can be uttered.
It is always easier to listen to unpleasant things after we have heard some praise of our good points.
Let the other person save face.
'I have no right to say or do anything that diminishes a man in his own eyes. What matters is not what I think of him, but what he thinks of himself. Hurting a man in his dignity is a crime,' -- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
You want the approval of those with whom you come in contact.
You want recognition of your true worth.
You want a feeling that you are important in your little world.
The unvarnished truth is that almost all the people you meet feel themselves superior to you in some way. A sure way to their hearts is to let them realise in some subtle way that you recognise their importance, and recognise it sincerely.
Any fool can try to defend his or her mistakes -- and most fools do -- but it raises one above the herd and gives one a feeling of nobility and exultation to admit one's mistakes.
Isn't it bad judgment to try to ram your opinions down the throats of other people?
Isn't it wiser to make suggestions -- and let the other person think out the conclusion?
Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
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Click here to buy the original version of How to Win Friends & Influence People, or pick up the new copy here.
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