Vanity Fair now has a guide on how to start your own hedge fund.
The parody has a surprising amount of good advice, except for the fact that they don’t mention that no one should actually follow it.
But that’s probably because as soon as you read this line in the opening paragraph, you can figure that out on your own.
We spoke to an actual big-shot hedge-fund manager to pick up tips on how you too can start the rogue finance shop of your dreams.
Everything else proceeds delightfully from there, starting with Step 1:
The bare essentials to get your new fund going: two junior analysts, a junior trader, and a chief financial officer. When you “spin off” from your current bank, it’s crucial to steal away some crack subordinates. A big selling point to potential investors is that you have a well-oiled, cohesive unit with a history of “crushing it.”
Actual big-shot hedge-fund manager’s tip: “Choose people who have a nose for ferreting out opportunities, but who are not willing to cut your guts out and try to replace you. You need junior-level people.”
All signs point to peak hedge funds.
Now that new regulations banning non-client related trades are shifting into place, anyone who starts a hedge fund without a track record of profts will have to compete with prop traders who are leaving banks.
On top of which, the industry is reporting lack-luster returns to begin with. Even the greats are leaving discouraged at the prospects.
The only thing we’re going to say other than, this “quick and easy!” guide is an obvious sign of peak hedge funds and the sad decline of an era, is that our assessment of Libre Max’s hedge fund name was spot on.