- Parenthood takes many forms, and often parents are bombarded with advice from family members, friends, and experts.
- However, according to parenting experts, the ways some people parent may influence how successful their children become.
- Here’s how to raise successful kids.
When it comes to raising children, parents often seek advice from a variety of sources: family members, friends, experts, books, and more. Of course, every parent wants their kids to be happy and successful, but what’s the magical secret?
Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., a psychotherapist and author of”How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free,” has some ideas. “While there is no one-size-fits-all answer, there are definitely traits that parents of successful children have in common,” she told Business Insider.
1. They know raising successful kids is their job, and it’s one they take seriously
To excel at any job, you want to give it your all – and that includes raising children. “A parent’s job is to raise successful grownups,” Dr. Tessina said. “At every stage, and especially the high school years, these parents keep in mind that their children need to learn to be self-sufficient, responsible, self-motivating, and good at relationships.”
2. They run their own lives well
Even unknowingly, parents constantly set examples for their children, often through osmosis. “As a parent, the best thing you can do toteach children successis to succeed yourself-let them see what it takes,” Dr. Tessina said. “This not only means you need tohave a definition of success, but also an understanding of how to achieve it.”
3. They are not afraid to make mistakes
No one likes to make mistakes, but it is how someone deals with them that makes all the difference. “Parents with successful kids are not afraid of making mistakes that their children can see,” Dr. Tessina said. “Watching you mess up and then watching you fix it and move on is a great life lesson for your kids and can turn every bad moment around.”
4. They know how to delegate
Responsibility, too, is an important part of life, andparents of successful kidsknow how to delegate. “Give your kids chores to do: Ask them to help you accomplish things around the house or even help you with appropriate work tasks, even if the help makes a mess,” Dr. Tessina said.
“At each stage of their development, turn over a little more responsibility to your children – the point is that they learn how to do things and understand what needs to be done. Plus, make sure they know you appreciate their help,” she said.
5. They follow through on what they say
Dr. Fran Walfish,a family and relationship psychotherapist and author of “The Self-Aware Parent,” said that teaching children about follow-through is crucial.”Once committed to a decision, stick to it,” Dr. Walfish said. “Do not give in to the temptation to waffle.”
6. They show their kids how to value money
Dr. Walfish said thatteaching children about moneyis crucial. “Some parents of successful kids come from families of modest to poor means – they know what it feels like to do without or want something you can’t afford,” she told Business Insider.
“As a result, they raise their own children to work for and value a dollar, and they do not entitle them to things,” she said. “They teach them to delay gratification by working, saving, and waiting until they have earned enough money to purchase the things they desire.”
7. They demonstrate how to deal with disappointment and develop resilience
Life is full of ups and downs, and parents who raise resilient kids show them all sides of life, including dealing with disappointment and bouncing back afterwards. “The absolute only way to build muscles for handling disappointment and dealing with rejection is to experience it, go through it, and see that you can, indeed, get to the other side and survive the pain of it,” Dr. Walfish said. “Each time you do this, your tolerance muscles strengthen and you’ll have a stronger capacity to deal with life’s inevitable disappointments. And, your children will take note.”
8. They know how to have fun
As much as being a parent is about being serious and setting boundaries and rules, it’s also about letting loose and having fun with your kids. “Teaching your kids to balance work and play is essential,” Dr. Tessina said. “For instance, you can do this by rewarding them with ice cream or a trip to the local pool after they complete their chores. Playing with your children is as important as teaching them things, and it does turn out to teach them very good things.”
9. They give a lot of love, support, and encouragement
Another key denominator in raising successful kids is giving them a lot of love, support, and encouragement. “It’s much more effective to focus on what is good than what is a problem,” Dr. Tessina said. “Celebrate your kids’ achievements, help them with their struggles, and make sure they know you think they can do it and that you believe in them.”
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