Being single has plenty of positives. For starters, it gives you the space and opportunity to work on yourself in the way that you need. Additionally, it helps you to see what you don’t want out of a partner and likewise, what you do.
But it can also be tough to know when you’re ready to move on and be in a new relationship. We’ve rounded up 13 signs that you’re likely emotionally ready to be in a relationship.
You’ve met someone great and didn’t push them away.
Meeting someone new with good intentions can make you think that they are “too good to be true,” but going forward with dating them can be a good thing. Relationship expert and matchmaker Eileen Fisher told INSIDER that if you choose to still see where things go – even if it’s someone you never thought could be “the one,” you’re likely ready for a relationship.
“The most common yet shocking way is that you allow someone in your life as your partner that you never thought you would meet,” she said. “Like someone you talk to at work or someone you meet at the gym. Really, just someone in your mind you never thought could be the one and you open your eye to them.”
You’ve stopped questioning things.
If you’ve ever been hurt in a relationship, chances are you’ve started to question and compare those that you’re dating. Though that’s not a good thing to do in any instance, Fisher said that once you’ve let go of the need to do that, you’re moving more toward settling down.
“If you realise you’ve had enough with the comparing each person to another, you could be ready,” she said. “You’ve also stopped asking your friends’ opinion on each of those you decide to start dating.”
Your rigorous checklist no longer exists.
Regardless if you’re 18 or 28, almost everyone has had some sort of checklist when it comes to their ideal partner. The moment you realise that those checklists won’t give you the perfect person, however, you’ve opened yourself up to a relationship.
“Ahh, the “checklist,” Fisher began. “When you start to realise that no one, and I mean no one, is going to be exactly who you thought you were going to be with, that’s a sign. From their height and weight down to their job, you’ve stopped making assumptions on what they should be.”
You’re happy with where you are in life.
True happiness can’t be defined by anyone that you currently have in or choose to let in your life. True happiness comes from yourself and according to Fisher when you’ve found that, you’re ready to be with someone else.
This may be the most obvious, yet people really need to look deep for this one,” she said. “You’re in a place where you feel good about who you are and where you’re going and are comfortable with saying “I am ready for my next chapter.” This is for all chapters in your life.”
You’ve learned how to compromise.
Compromising can be difficult if you’ve found yourself dating someone selfish, but Elena Murzello – dating and relationship expert and author of “The Love List: A guide to getting who you want” – said that it’s not impossible. Especially if it’s one of the things you’ve built your relationship on.
“Being open to sharing your life with someone means that things are not always going to go your way,” she said. ” You have to learn how to meet someone halfway in order to move forward in the relationship. Maybe it’s taking turns doing an unpleasant task or maybe it’s your decision next time on where you go for dinner. Compromising means you value the other person’s thoughts and feelings enough to make the relationship work so you both win.”
Independence isn’t foreign to you.
Whether you’ve been in a long-term relationship in the past or are interested in pursuing one, being with someone that is completely dependent on you can be unhealthy. If you’ve learned to be independent, however, and are interested in someone that is as well, a relationship is soon to follow.
“You are living your own life on your own terms,” Murzello said. “Joining someone in a relationship does not mean that they ‘complete you’, it means that you are willing to share your full life with them. You can learn from one another and inspire each other to be the best version, but you are complete on your own.”
You’ve sorted out your own issues.
Whether your insecurities came from relationships that have hurt you in the past or things that you haven’t dealt with from your younger days, once you’ve worked them out for yourself, Murzello said that you’re ready to be with someone wholeheartedly.
“You are at peace with other past relationships, dealt with any tension between family or friends, and you have worked on any addictions,” she told INSIDER. “This makes you ‘available’ for a relationship. The work you have done is with yourself and are not looking for the new relationship to act as a scapegoat to any issues you may have. Working on skeletons may be an ongoing effort, but the majority of the work (acknowledging there is a problem and taking corrective action to work on it) has already taken place.”
You’ve learned how to be an effective communicator.
If you’ve had trouble in the past, learning how to effectively communicate with someone may be a task. But, once you’ve discovered the best way to do that, being in a relationship won’t be as difficult as you thought.
“You know how and when it is appropriate to express your thoughts and feelings,” Murzello said. “When something bothers you, you address it or in a clear manner rather than taking a passive aggressive/aggressive road. You can listen as well as express yourself. Everyone communicates differently so it’s important to figure out your style and how it can be used constructively.”
You’ve gotten over you ex.
One of the most common reasons that keep people from moving on to a happy and thriving relationship with someone new is the fact that they’re still hung up on their previous unhealthy relationship. According to Match dating expert Rachel DeAlto though, once you’ve fully gotten over your ex, you’re emotionally ready for something new.
“Sure they may pop into your life from time to time, but you’re not comparing everyone to them,” she told INSIDER. “You’re also not stalking them on social media or wondering what you can do to get them back.”
You may be alone at times, but you are not lonely.
Although many people don’t realise it, being lonely and alone are too different things. And DeAlto said that once you can differentiate between spending time by yourself and feeling completely by yourself, that may be the key to walking into your next relationship.
“Get into a relationship for the right reason, not to fill an empty space,” DeAlto said. “A relationship entered into purely based on loneliness isn’t likely to be healthy or sustainable.”
You’ve learned to love yourself more than anyone.
Choosing to love yourself most is the first step to getting yourself ready for a new relationship and though it may be a process, you’ll learn so much about yourself while learning to do so.
“We are all a work in progress, but a relationship is made of two wholes – not halves,” said DeAlto. “Fill your own tank first. Date yourself first. Love yourself first. Then get into a relationship.”
You’re done playing the field.
Dating multiple people at one time may feel like a way to find the perfect relationship, but relationship expert and Platinum Poire CEO Rori Sassoon said that doing this can prevent you from getting yourself emotionally ready for a healthy relationship.
“If you’re going to sail the seas of love, it’s best to choose one boat to captain,” she said. “Otherwise, you may wind up overboard on all ships.”
You want to share your love and positivity with someone else.
If you’re a person who is afraid to let someone else love you or even afraid to love someone else, wanting to be in a relationship probably isn’t something that sits at the front of your mind. If you’ve gotten past that, however, then this is a major sign that you’re emotionally ready to be with someone else.
“In any relationship, you give what you give,” Sassoon said. “There’s nothing better than two healthy people that are secure in themselves and are ready to create something beautiful.
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