- Dating later in life can be challenging.
- There are certain things a person can do to make dating later in life easier, like using dating apps and being open to new experiences.
- It’s important to take your time in the dating game and always put your safety first.
Re-entering the dating world after you’ve been on hiatus may feel like a challenge. Since the methods of dating change with time, it can be discouraging to anyone trying to get in the dating game later in life.
Although love can be found at any age and at any time, everyone can use a little help at times.
Here are 13 tips from three relationship experts that will help you succeed if you’re choosing to date later in life.
Exude confidence at all times.
Regardless if you’re single in your 30s or in your 60s, when you start to get back into dating, one of the main things you want to keep in mind is that you should have confidence in yourself. And according to Maria Sullivan – Vice President of Dating.com and relationship & dating expert – having confidence is one of the most important factors when finding a partner.
“Taking an absence in the dating world may have you feeling out of touch, insignificant or flat out old,” she told INSIDER. “Nothing is sexier than confidence though, so make sure you take the time to up your wardrobe, practice yoga or workout, take new pictures for your online dating profiles and do whatever it takes to boost your self-esteem.”
Don’t be afraid to get online.
Though the younger generations have no issue with finding a potential lover online, those that are dating a little later in life may not see the benefit of it. That doesn’t mean, however, that you should completely count it out.
“See what the internet has to offer,” Sullivan said. “There are lots of different platforms that cater to different preferences. Find what interests you and create a profile.”
Be sure to take your time.
If you’re dating later in life, it may feel as if you don’t have much time to waste. According to Sullivan though, you should actually be taking your time when it comes to the progression in the dating realm.
“Jumping straight back into dating after a long break may be weird at first. Test the waters by starting conversations with multiple people,” said Sullivan. “Once you feel you have gotten back into the swing of things, you can take the next step and meet for coffee or dinner.”
Let your friends and family in on your dating life.
Feelings of embarrassment or isolation may overcome those who are dating later in life so letting friends and family in on the journey may be a bit uncomfortable. If you have certain people that you’re close to though, having their input on your dating life can help you to overcome any negative thoughts you may have.
“If you have children or younger friends you feel comfortable talking to about dating, get their input. You’ll be surprised what kind of advice they have to give,” Sullivan told INSIDER. “You may notice that dating culture today is much more different than what you’re used to and these loved ones can be great resources and confidence boosters.”
Don’t just look to date someone, go after experiences.
Professional relationship expert, strategist, and life coach Marlena Cole told INSIDER that while you may be excited to be back on the dating scene, you should be valuing the experiences more than anything.
“An experience is something that evokes a long-lasting feeling and emotion that ignites something deep down in your soul,” she said. “Having experiences goes way beyond a ‘date’ or a ‘good conversation.’ They allow you to connect at a deeper level. An experience with someones gives you ongoing conversations and inside jokes that will last forever.”
Dig into diversity when it comes to finding your match.
In the past, you may have stuck with only dating a certain type of partner. Whether you had a preference that was specific to race, height or educational level, while you’re embarking on the dating journey now, you’ll want to diversify your prospects as much as possible.
“Diversifying your assets is recommended by financial professionals to help protect your assets. If one investment fails you don’t lose everything,” she told INSIDER. “As it pertains to your heart, it should be the same philosophy when getting to know someone new. It is perfectly acceptable to get to know more than one person at a time. When you are open to getting to know more than one person at a time, that eliminates a lot of the pressure and anxiety around where the relationship is heading because you have options.”
Do your best to avoid setting expectations across the board.
It may be common and easy to do, but setting expectations for the dating pool and for yourself while in the dating pool is the wrong thing to do if you’re looking to thrive.
“It’s difficult to let go of expectations of yourself and others. However, letting go of expectations will allow you to be present and enjoy the moment without the anxiety and fear of what is going to happen next in the relationship,” said Cole. “By just living in the moment, you will be able to enjoy that time and space with someone new without disappointment because you did not have any expectations.”
Stray away from having a judgemental attitude.
Finding the right person later on in life may prove difficult – especially if you’re noticing that they aren’t quite like you or the last person that you were with. One of the quickest ways to sabotage a potential relationship, however, is to compare and judge someone, according to Cole.
“Everyone has something unique to offer the world. Judging someone – which is making them right or wrong, good or bad, better or worse – keeps you at a lower level of vibration,” she stated. “Noticing certain things are OK, but it’s important not to judge those observations. Judging someone too quickly based off of your standards very well could have you missing out on the opportunity to connect with another amazing person.”
Regardless of how it’s going, don’t be so hard on yourself.
It’s no secret that we are own worst critics, but when it comes to dating, you want to avoid this method of thinking.
“When you focus too much on doing, saying, looking, or acting in a way that does not turn them off; you appear disconnected and uninterested,” Cole said. “Know that you are beautiful and have a lot to bring to the table. Your age is an asset – not a barrier – to love.”
Though you don’t want to have a judgemental attitude, be sure to use your best judgment before meeting up with your date.
Regardless of your age or how advanced you are with dating, one thing you’ll always want to do is ensure your own safety. And while meeting someone from online can definitely warrant you to be cautious, you want to use that same judgment if you met them offline, too, according to Kevin Darné – relationship expert and author of “My Cat Won’t Bark! (A Relationship Epiphany).”
“Whether you are meeting someone online or offline, the most important thing is to use good common sense,” Darné said. “Your screening/mate selection process should begin prior to having a date with someone. There is nothing wrong with having multiple email, text, and phone conversations over several days before deciding to go out and the first date should be set up whereby both individuals have their own transportation. It also is not a bad idea for the first date to consist of a daytime activity or possibly a lunch or brunch.”
Don’t spend too much time focusing on the end goal.
Many people find themselves in a rush when it comes to the process of dating, but Darné said that this shouldn’t be the way you handle it.
“Some people actually hate the whole dating process. This is because their goal is to essentially fast forward through the ‘getting to know you process’ and get into a serious relationship as soon as possible,” he told INSIDER. “Having a philosophy such as this will generally lead to either making snap decisions about someone or emotionally investing too quickly. One of the biggest mistakes one can make is to go out every time an opportunity presents itself. It’s the quickest way to experience dating burnout.
“You’ll want to beware of anyone who tells you they are ready to get married or looking for a serious relationship. Sudden thoughts of marriage should come as a result of having been involved with the special person you are with.”
Regardless of your age, safe sex is the best sex.
“Although you are older it would be foolish to believe those in their late 30s, 40s, 50s, and beyond do not contract or pass STDs,” said Darné. “Having safe sex is always a great idea regardless of one’s age.”
Protect your assets.
Building a new life with a new partner can naturally be both exciting and beautiful. And if you’ve moved on to the phase where marriage is the topic of conversation, the feelings can become heightened. What shouldn’t happen though, is you become so blinded by love that you throw all caution to the wind and neglect to protect your assets.
“As an older person, odds are you may have accumulated valuable assets or received benefits from the death of a spouse,” he said. “You may have plans to pass an inheritance to children or grandchildren. Whatever you want to do though, It’s important to have your financial planner get involved prior to marriage.”
Visit INSIDER’s homepage for more.
Business Insider Emails & Alerts
Site highlights each day to your inbox.