How To Date A Lawyer

OK, before we even start, let us note that our first question was (as many of yours probably was, too) — do people really want to?

Well, believe it or not, there are many who believe that an attorney will turn out to be their someone awesome.

“Surveys show lawyers are among the most datable professions,” informed.

It is from said Avvo that we get tips on how to date a lawyer, a handy list they admit is only half serious. If you need the full instruction manual, check it out, but if you just want the sarcastic highlights with our added musings, here you go:

Avvo said “Fish where the fish are” and suggested DC or New York, which are both drowning in lawyers. We say, true enough.

But Avvo also suggested first checking Bar events or CLEs before they finally get around to suggesting actual bars around courthouses. Avvo is wrong — hit the bars first, but go to those around the actual firms. You can’t order a martini in Manhattan without discovering 3 out of the 4 people near you are lawyers.

Beware the lawyer personality, said Avvo. They are Type-A, defensive, argumentative, sceptical and anti-social. Yes, yes, yes, yes and yes. So what?

We kid, that’s not all lawyers. Just 80% of them.

When trying to convince a lawyer of anything — relationship issues included — always cite sources, Avvo said. We say, without the slightest hint of hyperbole, that this is totally true. To win an argument with any good attorney, you need to exhibit logical reasoning and provide specific examples of relevant situations. If you fail to do so, you will not win the fight. Or at least the lawyer will never admit you won the fight, so in order to save time, it’s best to play by the rules.

Avvo also suggested you use Latin whenever possible. Most attorneys know way less Latin than they should, so we do not endorse this. However, at our law school, the Halloween party once carried the tag line, “Come ex parte, but don’t go home that way.” So feel free to use that. Be warned that it makes absolutely no sense.

**We would feel remiss in not pointing out one more piece of advice from Avvo: make love notes long and confusing, because brevity and clarity make lawyers uncomfortable. We feel we’ve provided you a very specific example of this phenomenon via this post.

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