Not long ago, I became fed up with being constantly cut-off on the highway by F-250s fitted with monster truck tires and NRA bumper stickers… and seeing beautiful women I’ve dated abandon me for dudes with neck tattoos.
Something inside of me snapped.
Deciding to do some research, one theme that kept popping up in popular pickup artist literature and relationship books was the idea of the “alpha male.”
Explained only in vague terms, I wanted to know exactly what an alpha male was, and if it was worth trying to become one — so I did more research.
Many other primate species have an alpha male in each social group, as I’m sure you already know if you have spent any length of time watching Animal Planet.
In a band of wild capuchin monkeys, for example, the alpha male is “a single male, who has primary rights to mate with the females of the group.” (Thanks, Wikipedia.)
The alpha capuchin will walk up to a beta male, scream in his face, and then proceed to mate with the most attractive females in the group. Anyone who has been bar hopping in midtown Manhattan knows that our species is not so different.
For whatever reason, social tyranny is baked into our evolutionary preferences.
Women love alphas, and beta men let alphas do more or less whatever they want. This is how it is in the wild, until an alpha gets sick and dies, or is physically challenged by a beta who wishes to become the new alpha. In human society, the alpha reigns until he gets locked up for insider trading or is pushed aside by a smarter, younger executive. Same idea.
After studying some of the alphas I’m friends with, and reading more, I discovered that being seen as an alpha male really came down to only three distinct qualities, all of which I will share with you. No e-book download or expensive pickup artist seminar required.
1. Physical: Women are not as superficial as men, but they are still superficial. Looks matter, to an extent, and all other things being equal few women would prefer a guy with a frail Gollum frame over a guy who resembles Daniel Craig in a James Bond beach scene.
Similarly, men treat other men differently depending on how they look. After I began bulking up, I noticed considerably less “crap” from other guys at bars and clubs. No more interrupting my conversations, bumping into me without apologizing, creeping on girls I had brought with me.
How to bulk up? I employed something I call the “prison workout.” It’s phenomenally simple: 120 good push-ups per day (this means keeping your back and legs straight, like a plank), which can be broken up into three sets of 40 throughout the day, and 80 crunches.
Like in a prison, this is a simple routine that could be performed in a cell (or office cubicle, as the case may be), without the aid of an expensive personal trainer, posh gym membership, or any special equipment.
Also like in a prison, do this every day — pretend that time is of the essence. If you were in prison, you’d want to bulk up as soon as possible to avoid problems with the other inmates, right? And eat more protein. Cut out all of the things that you know are bad for your metamorphosis into an alpha male: that means no more comfort foods. Office cupcakes, Dunkin’ doughnuts, and milkshakes are all in your rearview mirror from now on.
2. Financial: Most women are not strictly speaking gold-diggers, and most men don’t really care how much you have in your brokerage account… But all other things being equal, we’d all prefer to hang out with someone who is affluent over someone who pinches pennies.
Cut your expenses until you reach a point where you can meet your obligations (rent, car payment, etc.) comfortably without it occupying much of your time. I don’t know why this is the case, and its beyond the scope of this blog post, but people are very good at sensing financial anxiety in others — if you’re terrified you won’t be able to make ends meet, potential business partners (and potential mates) can pick up on it.
An alpha male always knows he has enough. And if he doesn’t, he does whatever it takes — within reason — to improve his financial standing.
3. Status: While I don’t think you should define yourself solely by what you do, certain professions are off-limits for those serious about becoming alpha males — and there are even some professions that can quicken the transformation from beta to alpha. I’m not saying you need to become a hedge fund manager or play for the Miami Heat, but you do need to eventually find a career that is congruent with your new goal to become alpha within your defined social group or city.
If your job requires constant public supplication to others, it’s a beta job. You cannot easily become a true alpha male if your 9 to 5 is working as a porter at a five-star hotel — taking crap from snobby tourists all day — or if you scrub feet at a day spa.
Some service industry jobs are great for budding alphas, though: some of the most alpha guys I know work as bartenders, for example. Although you are responding to customer requests, you are also the “alpha” over a set domain — your bar — and few men will challenge your status or try to overtake you as the bartender!
In summary, find a job that allows you to be an alpha male from time to time. Emasculating jobs will eat at your soul, and it’s impossible to go out at night acting alpha if you’ve spent all day in beta mode.
This is part 1 of a 2 part article. Look for the second section on Outlaw early next week.