Wearing a full face of makeup or a $US5,000 custom-fit suit might very well make you more attractive — for a day.
If you’re looking to make yourself more appealing for the long term, focus on developing a stellar personality.
Business Insider asked a panel of dating and relationship experts for their best tips on becoming more attractive — without changing your physical appearance. Each one came up with creative and easy-to-implement strategies that will help you a) score a date and b) cultivate a lasting relationship.
Read on to learn how to become the very best version of yourself.
That's according to Hal Runkel, marriage and family therapist and author of 'Choose Your Own Adulthood.' Specifically, he recommends: 'Ask more follow-up questions about others, instead of impressing with stories about yourself.'
Helen Fisher, biological anthropologist and author of 'The Anatomy of Love,' said much the same thing: 'Ask a potential partner about himself or herself. Most people enjoy those who are curious about them and are likely to find you more attractive, friendly, and interesting.'
'When you have a wide range of interests outside of work and an eclectic group of friends, you're naturally more fascinating to potential partners,' said Joseph Burgo, psychotherapist and author of 'The Narcissist You Know.'
'Workaholics and people who take little interest in the world around them make poor conversationalists and bring little to the relationship table.'
'It's a sure way to make yourself more attractive to others,' Fisher said.
'When you smile, those who see your smile, smile back, even if very briefly. And as they smile, they use facial muscles which trigger the release of neurochemicals in their brain associated with feelings of pleasure -- and they are thus likely to feel happy in your company.
'So smile: It's cheap, easy and a primordial mechanism for making friends and finding a mate.'
That's a tip from Dr. Terri Orbuch (PhD), relationship expert, Oakland University professor, and author of 'Finding Love Again: 6 Simple Steps to a New and Happy Relationship.' Maybe that something is work, or maybe it's a volunteer project -- your excitement will make other people excited, too.
'While over-focusing on appearance can lead to a kind of superficiality, people who eat well, exercise, and get enough sleep just look healthier and more attractive,' Burgo said.
'Poor self-care indicates a lack of self-respect, which can be a turn-off for many people.'
Orbuch agrees, reminding people to exercise if they want to be more attractive.
'Physical activity makes us feel better about ourselves,' she said. 'It reduces our stress and our negative emotions. When we feel better about ourselves, feel less stressed and more positive, we are more attractive to others.'
'Partners who try to understand and work through their differences do better in relationships,' McNulty said.
'This requires both to be flexible. A partner who is able to yield or let the other take the lead on a conflictual issue often wins his or her trust and admiration.
'Being flexible in this manner leads to creativity on the part of both partners to find those 'good-enough compromises' that honour each other's dreams. Flexibility and creativity make a relationship much more attractive: Both partners feel respected and important.'
'The ability to be open to another person in a relationship even when one feels different than one's partner about an important issue makes a person very attractive,' said Michael McNulty, Master Trainer and Certified Gottman Relationship Therapist from The Chicago Relationship Center.
'Their partner feels like, 'He gets' me,' or 'She cares enough to try to understand even when she feels different than I do.' Openness and curiosity breed trust and collaboration, which make love last.'
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