Wondering how to really attract women? Bear with me for a moment.
So, several years ago I was doing research for an article I had to write about attracting women and the “pickup artist” craze that was taking off at the time — The Game, the seduction community, mystery and all of that stuff… this was what fascinated many of us guys before the recession hit, and we went back to more pressing matters, such as paying the rent.
Anyway, during the research process I read an intriguing e-book called Double Your Dating that a friend with knowledge of the seduction community recommended I check out. I was so enthralled by some of the material disclosed that I read the whole thing in a single five-hour, Red Bull-assisted sitting at the computer.
Today, the instantly downloadable e-book is a multi-million dollar business for its author, David DeAngelo. Teaching guys how to attract women is apparently big business. (Save money: download a copy of it using this link and you’ll pay the promotional price of $19.97, by the way, instead of the normal cover price of $100. Scroll down on that page and click on ‘Download Now.’)
I don’t want to wander into intellectual property infringement here, so I won’t repeat much of what is talked about in Double Your Dating — I’m a writer, too, and it sucks when someone else takes your ideas.
With that said, one part in the book — and in many of David DeAngelo’s other products and articles — is so well-known that I can safely share it here: “Attraction is not a choice.”
Now, think about that one for a moment.
The implications of that statement are profound: a woman doesn’t choose to be attracted to you, or not attracted. It’s all happening at a deeper, more instinctual level. Most of it has to do with evolutionary psychology, and has nothing at all to do with “impressing her” or “making a great first impression” or any of the other stuff that well-intentioned parents or clueless friends have engrained into your belief system over the years.
Similarly, men don’t choose who they are attracted to. It’s not a choice; I don’t simply decide, “Today I’m going to be attracted to blondes around my height with middle of the road political beliefs and x, y, and z qualities.”
Once you acknowledge that attraction is not a choice, you can start to become the kind of person who naturally triggers attraction in other people — not just romantically, but in a business context as well.
This is part 1 of a two-part article.
Business Insider Emails & Alerts
Site highlights each day to your inbox.