rumours are flying around the internet that Rick Perry, the presidential candidate from Texas, was drunk as a skunk while giving a speech in New Hampshire last weekend.
Naturally, I immediately became interested in the speech. Presidential candidates are so guarded and so shielded by handlers and advisers that we hardly get a moment to see them as real people. The thought of watching a wasted Rick Perry, bumbling his way through a speech, was too good an opportunity to pass up.
So I found the video. Like a lot of speeches, it’s a bit long, so I’ve found another video of it that shows just the clips where he’s obviously intoxicated. However, after watching this video clip of a recent Rick Perry speech, I’m pretty sure he wasn’t drunk.
But that’s only because I am fairly certain that he was high as hell on something delicious and pill-shaped.
I’ve known a lot of stoners and pill-poppers in my life, and I may have ingested a substance or two in my college days. I can say, unequivocally, that Rick Perry was high as a kite when he gave that speech. There’s no way he reached those levels of silliness and incoherence without being on something. I don’t care how goofy he is, or how excited he was at giving the speech. He was high. There’s no way he wasn’t.
Of course, he has a good reason for that: the man has been campaigning and working his butt off despite being in immense pain from his back. Perry had back surgery this summer, ahead of the presidential campaign. As someone who has regular, debilitating back pain, I can tell you that one doesn’t just “get better”. Part of recuperating from back surgery is pain management. Part of pain management can be painkillers.
In my opinion, Perry was on painkillers when he gave that speech. Now, obviously I do not have a mole inside the Perry campaign who is feeding me this information. It’s just common sense.
If you remember a few months ago, during the early Perry debates, he could barely tolerate standing and debating for 90 minutes. At each debate, as the event wore on, his answers were more haggard and he was clearly in pain, physically and emotionally. Observers politely suggested that perhaps Perry was just off his game a little, a result of being thrust into the spotlight (Perry jumped in to the race and became an instant front-runner) and because Perry had precious little debating experience.
It was clear to me that he was in pain and not on his medication. Last week’s speech was an example of a performance given by a man on his medication.
I’ve been hard on Rick Perry for many, many things. His politics are abhorrent, and his willingness to be an even bigger imbecile than George Bush is just a terrible precedent for this country. He has overseen the murder of innocent people, executed by the state despite evidence that they were not guilty. He then covered up that crime.
But, as someone who sometimes needs similar medication to get through my day, I can empathise with the man. I just wish he’d stop pretending that he isn’t suffering through back pain and medication and come clean. He’ll never earn my vote…but he could earn my respect.
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