As we scanned the list of potential uses of the $800+ billion of bailout money this morning, we were startled to note that Save Silicon Alley Insider and Clusterstock was not among them. We assume this is an oversight.
Every day we hear how Wall Street deserves $18 billion of bonuses on top of hundreds of billions of bailout money because:
- If Wall Street doesn’t give massive bonuses, the top people will leave
- Most Wall Streeters worked 16-hour days all year and didn’t buy the crap assets that blew up the firm.
Well, we work 16-hour days and want to keep our top people and didn’t buy crap assets, either, so we assumed we would soon be the happy recipients of a bailout billion or two.
This logic seemed so airtight, in fact, that we’ve already spent a bunch of the money (a neat trick Hank Paulson taught us). True, not as much as we would have spent if there hadn’t been this little brouhaha around the Merrill bailout-for-bonuses scandal, but a bunch of it.
And it’s not as though we don’t know times are tough here: I mean, we even cancelled our planned SAI and Clusterstock employees-in-space trip because it seemed inappropriate! (OK, that was because the Russian space program no longer takes paying customers, but don’t tell anyone. We want to milk this apparent austerity for all it is worth.)
Chuck Schumer, if you want our vote, you’d better get cracking on the Save Silicon Alley Insider and Clusterstock earmark. A mere $1 billion will do. Otherwise, we’re blaming YOU.