Here's my own ridiculous 'Star Wars' rumour about Luke Skywalker's hand actually being Darth Vader's hand

Another day, another ridiculous “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” rumour to talk about.

Before we get started, you should know that I promised myself I wouldn’t do this.

Nearly two months ago, “Force Friday” approached. We learnt that, starting with Sydney, every hour on the hour, 15 cities around the world would get to reveal a new toy.

For me, if the following tweet was on the money, the most excitement surrounded Luke Skywalker’s “reveal”.

As it turned out, it was the remote control BB8 ‘bot that reportedly stole everyone’s hearts, after one or two million journos were contractually obliged to use the word “adorable” in describing it.

We got Captain Phasma, Kylo Ren’s dubious lightsaber, a Stormtrooper blaster… but no Luke Skywalker dolly. By all reports, it was a custom-made job.

And the original Skywalker toy tweet was removed. Similar action was taken after an image of Mark Hamill in costume hit social media a couple of weeks ago, but that leak couldn’t be stopped.

But it was too late for me, because I was already far down the rabbit-hole ready to reignite the most talked-about theory of Skywalker’s role in The Force Awakens. I wrote a frankly ludicrous article and by the time I’d finished it, even I thought it was so silly I just dumped it.

And as I was still getting burned for dipping my toe into the rumour millpond with this piece about why Kylo Ren is allowed to use a red lightsaber, I just wasn’t ready for the next wave of nerdrage.

But I am now, because the official full trailer and several teaser trailers for “The Force Awakens” have been released, and there’s still barely a glimpse of Skywalker to be seen in any of the footage. And people are wondering why, and the rumours are getting so crazy and the most popular right now is pretty much exactly what I was aiming for back then so well, what the hell, here it is.

Luke Skywalker is evil

You might have read that today and you can blame it for this article being resurrected.

Let’s say the picture really is the Skywalker figurine we were supposed to get on Force Friday. If it is genuine, you might have noticed Skywalker’s hand:

There’s no skin on it.

Now, that would all but confirm that it’s Skywalker in one of the teasers here placing a hand on R2-D2’s head:

And now, let’s go back to the moment about a year ago when “The Force Awakens” director JJ Abrams tweeted this thank you to fans who helped raise $5 million for Unicef:

They look like the same hand, right?

So, first of all, why hasn’t Luke looked after his hand?

That’s the big question that fans are now tossing about, sparking a run on theories.

First, the sensible theory. It’s the same metal hand Luke received in “The Empire Strikes Back” and because he’s been a recluse for so long after “Return of the Jedi”, the skin’s just worn away.

So why has Skywalker assumedly placed himself in self-exile? The most popular theory among fans is that Skywalker is aware of his power, almost fears it, and has deliberately taken himself out of the game. He fears he may turn to the Dark Side. Or already has.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, back to the hand.

Heading further down the rabbit hole – it also looks very similar to Anakin’s hand. The one he made for himself after losing his right arm in a fight with Count Dooku in “Attack of the Clones”:

But that hand was made about 25 years before The Empire Strikes back. You would imagine robotic hands might have advanced a lot further by the time Anakin, now Darth Vader, lopped off Luke’s hand.

So wait, wait. If that’s Anakin’s hand, are we saying Luke has somehow come to be wearing it? Phew.

Let’s go back to “Return of the Jedi” just after Luke cuts off his father’s right hand and The Emperor is calling for him. “Now, fulfill your destiny,” he says. “Take your father’s place at my side.”

Luke seems to consider it for a second, looking at his hand, then looks at his father’s arm:

Why the Sam Hill would he look at his hand and then look at Darth Vader’s (missing) hand? What has any of that got to do with “Fulfill your destiny?”

We never see where Darth’s hand goes, but it looks like it fell into the Death Star shaft, where Vader chucks The Emperor, supposedly to his doom.

“Supposedly”, because there’s one version in which Palpatine used an ancient Force technique to transfer his spirit to a clone body before he explodes in a flash of blue. When he resurfaces, he successfully converts Luke to the Dark Side and installs him as his apprentice.

But that’s all in the old canon which has been chucked out for the new trilogy. So this is all ridiculous.

Except, somehow, the “new Luke” in “The Force Awakens”, Finn, looks to be wielding Luke’s old lightsaber. The one that tumbled out of the bottom of Cloud City above Bespin, attached to Luke Skywalker’s arm which had just been lopped off by Anakin. (If this early “leak” is true, the opening sequence of “The Force Awakens” features Skywalker’s hand tumbling through space.)

That lightsaber was actually Anakin’s lightsaber, which had been given to Luke by Obi Wan Kenobi, who had saved it after lopping off Anakin’s good arm in “Revenge of the Sith”.

Let’s go there

So if a lightsaber – and hand – which had fallen out of Cloud City had somehow came to be in Finn’s possession seems legit for the makers of “The Force Awakens”, we may as well say a hand that fell out of the Death Star can somehow find its way onto Luke Skywalker’s arm. It should be fairly obvious by now that severed arms and hands are one thing that binds all the six movies.

Which would tie into the other rumour that Kylo Ren is on a mission to “reunite” artefacts from the Dark Side and bring back the Sith. The existence of Sith artefacts falls well within the new Star Wars canon established by Disney and there are plenty of examples of helmets, gauntlets and lightsabers which imbue users with level-up Sith powers.

Kylo Ren’s got a very symbolic helmet in his hands:

But in fact, he’s wearing one which looks a lot like a legendary Sith artefact – Revan’s Mask:

Ren’s hunting down Finn for some reason. Maybe it’s actually Anakin’s old lightsaber he’s after:

So, and I can’t believe I’m writing this, it almost makes sense that the hand is the third part of Darth Vader he needs:

Interestingly, you might note that all three of those scenes appear in sequence in the official trailer. (You can check it out below, starting at 0.48.)

And December 18 can’t come fast enough.

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