Here Are This Week's Winners And Losers In Media


Welcome to August. 

Currently the world is such a serious place that the news cycle is scraping for something summery to report on that doesn’t relate to the debt-ceiling and scary S&P downgrade.

And mostly coming up short.

But that doesn’t mean their weren’t winners and losers (apart from America, this week’s biggest loser) to be found in the meager remains.

You will likely find a number of these faces familiar.  Piers Morgan, a regular in these parts, is back.  And Catwoman has returned….albeit it in slightly more clothing than last we saw her.

WINNER: Shark Week

Shark Week, the original August news story, is this year the only August news story that isn't totally depressing.

Unless of course you are the seal in this picture, or the whale in this video, or any of the people in this clip.

Dude, get a bigger boat.

WINNER: Catwoman

Catwoman is back. And this time she brought more clothes.

Warner Bros. has revealed the first image of Anne Hathaway as Catwoman in 'The Dark Knight Rises' and director Christopher Nolan has opted to replace Halle Berry's leather bikini with a skin concealing body suit.

I am woman hear me....meow.

WINNER: Glenn Beck

Glenn Beck owns book publishing.

Not literally, obviously, but this week he dominated the top 5 bestsellers lists on both and Amazon.

Why is this an extra big deal for Beck, who has repeatedly demonstrated his Oprah-like book power? Topping his list of toppers is Michael Vey: The Prisoner of Cell 25, the first title from Beck's new Mercury Ink imprint at Simon & Schuster.

WINNER: Don Lemon

Don Lemon has been a weekend anchor at CNN for the last five year.

Last week he made his debut as a Jon Stewart target. Fear not! It was friendly fire. Stewart was...rejoicing in Lemon's inability to pretend to be interested in stupid news stories.

Since then Lemon has popped up on Colbert and filled in for Joy Behar. Presumably you will be seeing much more of him shortly.

WINNER: Mark Halperin

Last month Mark Halperin called President Obama a dick on live TV.

Shortly thereafter MSNBC suspended him 'indefinitely.'

This week he returned.

LOSER: Piers Morgan

Hello again Piers Morgan.

Last week it looked like the Morgan was nearly done with the phone-hacking scandal. Not so fast. This week Heather Mills told the BBC that her phone had been hacked by a Mirror Group reporter. The next day ex-husband Paul McCartney announced he was contacting the police in connection with the same hacking.

Also, a number of British MP's are calling for Morgan to answer questions. One week you're the cock of the walk...

LOSER: Charlie Sheen

It is not exactly news that Charlie Sheen is a loser.

This week however it was confirmed that Two and a Half Men will, in fact, be killing his character off. Here is a picture of his funeral.

Ashton Kutcher will be replacing him playing a character that sounds suspiciously like a mix of Kelso and Mark Zuckerberg.


This is not the Onion.

This is Fox Nation, Fox News' news aggregate site reporting on President Obama's birthday party. Fox claimed the headline was simply based on Mike Allen's Politico report (which was the text that accompanied this hed and photo) which mentioned some guests were dancing to hip hop music.

The internet was less-than-convinced. Fox further admitted they'd had to shut off comments because they 'found many of the comments to be offensive and inappropriate and they have been removed,'

LOSER: Salma Hayek

Loser is harsh. It's more accurate to say Salma Hayek is (possibly) the victim of a unfaithful husband and one of the world's biggest supermodels.

Hayek's husband, Francois-Henri Pinault, the CEO of PPR, is being sued by supermodel Linda Evangelista for $46,000 a month in child support. Here's the, er, tricky part: Evangelista's son is 4 years-old. Hayek's daughter with Pinault is 3 years-old and she has been in a relationship with Pinault since at least March 2007 when they became engaged. You can do the maths.

LOSER: Heidi And Spencer

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, arguably the biggest media whores to come out of the reality TV genre (and that's saying something) would now like your pity.

Turns out after all that fame and money (and plastic surgery) the two are now living in Pratt's parents' home. Broke.

Spencer tells the Daily Beast: 'I probably spent a million dollars on suits and fancy clothes. My whole million-dollar wardrobe--I would never wear that again. They're props. Everything we were doing, we were buying props. I bought a big blue monster truck just to drive it on The Hills for an episode. Never drove it again...What we learned is: You can be too famous.

NOW WATCH: Briefing videos

Business Insider Emails & Alerts

Site highlights each day to your inbox.

Follow Business Insider Australia on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and Instagram.

Tagged In

features thewire-us tv