Last summer our hearts were broken when Joe Schwenk, aka @HamptonsBorn, the Hamptons handyman who tweets about the absurd requests he gets from his wealthy “citiot” clients, said he was moving to North Dakota.
Lucky for us, he’s come back for the summer to make money and entertain the entire Internet with requests like this one:
Place clothes in the closet, music on & candles lit for when Mr.D enters his house for 1st time since design was approved for land 6 yrs ago
— Joe Schwenk (@HamptonsBorn) April 24, 2014
Some things have changed.
THINGS I NOTICED SINCE I LEFT: No one uses Blackberries — — only iPhones in weirdly designed cases. 50% of my customers with Teslas sold them.
— Joe Schwenk (@HamptonsBorn) April 6, 2014
But mostly they stay the same.
While I was fixing Ms.S’s automatic shades she explained how happy she was with her new under the muscle boob job — over the muscle is out now
— Joe Schwenk (@HamptonsBorn) April 17, 2014
Don’t forget the Easter Parade in Sag Harbor today. Followed by the tour of over $US50 million homes built by indicted Wall Street executives.
— Joe Schwenk (@HamptonsBorn) April 19, 2014
Good to have you back, Joe.