- Gwyneth Paltrow said she and husband Brad Falchuk don’t live together full time.
- Paltrow said her friends think it sounds ideal.
- Experts told INSIDER that even though it sounds unconventional, if it works for them, then it’s great.
- Visit INSIDER’s homepage for more stories.
It’s said that absence makes the heart grow fonder and one couple that seems particularly down with that concept is Gwyneth Paltrow and Brad Falchuk. Paltrow recently said that the pair doesn’t live together full-time and they couldn’t be happier with the arrangement.
Paltrow said she and Falchuk, who got married in September of 2018, only live together half the week.
“Falchuk, 48, spends three nights a week at his own house and four nights at Paltrow’s Los Angeles home, an arrangement approved by her intimacy teacher as a means of keeping the relationship fresh,” read a profile of Paltrow in The Sunday Times.
And it works for them. “Oh, all my married friends say that the way we live sounds ideal and we shouldn’t change a thing,” she said in the interview.
There are also kids to consider, which adds to the perks of the arrangement. In 2018, Paltrow told WSJ magazine that the couple had decided to keep separate homes also as a way of being sensitive to her and Falchuk’s children from previous relationships. “We are still doing it in our own way. With teenage kids, you’ve got to tread lightly,” she said. “It’s pretty intense, the teenage thing.”
INSIDER asked experts about this type of living style and most agreed that if it works for Paltrow and Falchuk, or really any couple trying it out, then it’s totally fine.
“Living together part-time probably wouldn’t be ideal for most relationships, but if it keeps things fresh, flowing and happy for them, then it’s great that they found their ideal relationship style. As people explore new ways to be together, we are likely to see more of these types of non-traditional relationship patterns,” said relationship expert Antonia Hall.
What works for one couple may not work for another and it’s important to focus on each other’s needs and what works for you. “Creating a beautiful marriage requires each party involved to cut out the world and focus on each other’s needs,” said Naketa R. Thigpen, LCSW, a balance and relationship advisor. “If Gwyneth Paltrow and Brad Falchuk have both agreed to keep separate recharging spaces via separate houses and enjoy coming together as whole people who can focus in on the needs of each other then it works!” said Thigpen.
That’s not to say that separate homes are an option for many couples, but the goal of the arrangement is something that all couples can take a lesson from. “Healthy boundaries help you create your balance and your joy. Not all couples can afford two separate houses but they can afford to create a safe space for each other to feel comfortable communicating their needs,” said Thigpn.
Of course, even if personal space has proven to be an asset for this couple, too much can do damage and it’s important for couples to check in and see if they need to adjust. “Some personal time is a healthy thing, though close to half the week is quite a bit, most couples don’t find they need three out of every seven days,” said Dr.Gail Saltz, an associate professor of Psychiatry at the NY Presbyterian Hospital Weill-Cornell School of Medicine. “But a couple where one has children from another marriage might wish to have personal time with them.
Basically, every family is different there is no right or wrong way to spend time together, as long as you’re both happy.
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