Groupon Will Name Your Baby For $1,000

Groupon baby

Photo: Groupon

Groupon is offering a $1,000 deal in which Groupon itself will name your baby “Clembough.” The offer appears to be a PR stunt in advance of June 17, Father’s Day.The daily deal company says:

Groupon, the official World’s Foremost Authority in Baby Naming™ , will name your child or children “Clembough”. No substitutes or modifications. Spelling non-negotiable. Any attempt to name your child “Clembough” independent of this exclusive Groupon will be recognised by the world as a cheap imitation.

It continues, at length:

All too often, the importance of a child’s name takes a backseat to other “needs” such as food, shelter, and clothing. Groupon, the World’s Foremost Authority in Baby Naming™, has stepped up to address this issue. Upon your child’s birth, Groupon will relieve you of the burden of naming your baby by bestowing a specially selected, custom first name upon your infant son or daughter.

… Don’t settle for non-Groupon-approved names such as Kevin or Bridget—let us gift your sweet child with a moniker for the ages.

The offer closes with the claim that the name “Groupon” came from a combination of the words “grout” and “superweapon.”

Hmm.

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