The 'Why I Am Leaving Goldman' Letter Has Already Spawned This Hilarious Parody

darth vader stock exchange AP

Investors and journalists are busy dissecting Goldman executive director Greg Smith’s public resignation letter, but we can’t stop laughing about another public resignation letter—that of Darth Vader from the Empire.

Published in The Daily Mash this morning, the letter appears to parody Smith’s resignation.

Here’s an excerpt:

After almost 12 years, first as a summer intern, then in the Death Star and now in London, I believe I have worked here long enough to understand the trajectory of its culture, its people and its massive, genocidal space machines. And I can honestly say that the environment now is as toxic and destructive as I have ever seen it.

Then later…

The Empire today has become too much about shortcuts and not enough about remote strangulation. It just doesn’t feel right to me anymore.

I hope this can be a wake-up call. Make killing people in terrifying and unstoppable ways the focal point of your business again. Without it you will not exist. Weed out the morally bankrupt people, no matter how much non-existent Alderaan real estate they sell. And get the culture right again, so people want to make millions of voices cry out in terror before being suddenly silenced. 

Read the rest of this hilarious letter at The Daily Mash >

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