On his labour Day vacation, a Bahamian investment banker, Humphrey Simmons, fought a shark, caught the shark… and discovered a body inside.
Gartmore seems to be falling apart at the seams. A month after star trader Guillame Rambourg left, and just days after one of its top execs left the hedge fund, Gartmore Growth Opportunities “may be breaking away from its namesake hedge fund management firm.”
A Swiss banker who attempted a drink-and-drive on his scooter after a night at the pub is banned from driving and will pay a big fine for his misdemeanour. His best excuse was that he never actually rode on the road (having been stopped by wily police before he escaped the parking lot).
An underground Chinese banker who managed $1.24 billion in foreign currency and made $1.5 million by illegally exchanging currency on the blackmarket will serve 5 years in prison for his scheme.
Michael Lewis told Vanity Fair “the world would be better off without Goldman Sachs” because “in the last six or seven years… they made an awful lot of money getting people to do stuff that never should have been done” because they have a moral justification for it.
A Connecticut hedge funder was arrested for running a weed operation “capable of producing a marijuana crop year round.” But Tara Bryson, head of investor relations for New Stream Capital, and her boyfriend, claim that the only thing they farm, is goats.
Two former Citibankers claim that firm failed to responsibly manage the trust fund of 104-year-old mining heiress, Huguette Clark. Clark doesn’t care about the money, but the Citibankers, John Cullen and Veronica Juliano, are demanding the bank be investigated for not investing Clark’s money properly. Citi says the allegation are ‘entirely baseless.’
An incentive in the Dodd-Frank regulation that provides larger bounties for corporate whistleblowers – as much as 30% of the penalties and recovered funds, is being trumpeted by lawyers. “We’ve gotten some very high-quality tips,” one SEC official told the WSJ.
BONUS: Australia’s Sydney Herald grapples with the age old dispute, pin stripes: gangster or banker? The best line: “the chalk-stripe… conjures up images of investment bankers and Fleet Street professionals. Instead of gangsters taking your money without you knowing, these guys do it with your full knowledge… but they do look sharp.”