Photo: Business Insider
There are plenty of good reasons to work at Goldman Sachs; we’ve written about them before.But inspired the bank’s miserable earnings report this morning, we realised that the negatives are piling up considerably.
Right now, if you’re deciding where to work on Wall Street, you’re probably focusing on the downside of working at Goldman.
This is practically a motto at Goldman, and it's certainly something your boss will tell you, especially if you make the mistake of asking how to manage your time better, or god forbid, complain about working on weekends or into the late night.
If you want to get to the C-level - just ask one woman on her way - you probably have to give up hobbies and exercise.
IPOs use multiple underwriters but banks still want the 'coveted upper-left hand corner of the box listing involved banks' on the filing.
Morgan Stanley has been listed as the 'first underwriter on all the hottest Web' IPOs -- LinkedIn, Pandora, Groupon, Zynga. Goldman was in the 'prestige' spot only 3 times.
You're practically walking on eggshells in public.
If you talk to the press, you risk losing your job. If you stay at your job while getting press attention, your co-workers will probably harass you, like they did the rapper Allen Mask.
Random strangers hold protests outside your office.
People dream up weird conspiracy theories about you.
Anonymous people on the internet publish a website, GoldmanSachs666.com, about how evil you are.
Even John Cusack hates you.
And everyone who reads the Rolling Stone thinks you caused the financial crisis, meanwhile everyone who reads everything else thinks you caused the food crisis.
Interns this year were reportedly turned off by Goldman employees who acted too cool, as if they assumed the best interns would, naturally, choose Goldman.
One of the interns that rejected Goldman for another firm told us that that 80% of the interns Goldman accepted rejected them.
You're part of a public company that gets sued a lot so, your emails might get published in the press, which will probably take what you said out of context (like Fabrice Tourre's) and write terrible things about you like:
Tom Montag's 'shitty deal' email is now a t-shirt.
After Matt Taibbi's famous take down, Goldman Sachs was brought to the attention of many who didn't even know it existed, and bank wil forever now be known on Main Street as the Vampire Squid.
In case you don't remember, the Rolling Stone article described Goldman like so: 'The world's most powerful investment bank is a great vampire squid wrapped around the face of humanity, relentlessly jamming its blood funnel into anything that smells like money.'
Fabrice Tourre is the fall-guy for the whole ABACUS debacle. It looks like Tourre has finally realised it and is doing some work in his own favour, but regardless, the damage is done. Obviously, he made mistakes. But with the SEC, Goldman scored a huge break for themselves and basically hung him out to dry.
If you're a woman and you happen to get a promotion, everyone will assume it's BECAUSE you're a woman.
Goldman Sachs got sued BIG time last year by three women who claimed to lift the lid on egregious mis-treatment of women at Goldman.
If it's true, that's bad enough. Either way, Goldman will now try to promote more women in order to combat the negative PR.
So congrats! You just got promoted for good PR.
Yes, at first glance, having a Shake Shack beneath your office is amazing.
But actually, when you think about it, the delicious burgers and fries are too good to resist, so, being at the office all the time, you're going to clog your arteries and gain about 10 pounds. (Since you have no time to work out, because you're working or sleeping).
The SEC charged both Goldman Sachs and Fabrice Tourre with fraud on sub-prime mortgages, while other banks who structured similar CDOs have not had to undergo the same public congressional scrutiny.
The SEC looked into the bank again over Facebook, and staff were instructed to keep all documents connected to Facebook because of the probe. And then it even started looking into Goldman's relationship with Libya.
Meanwhile, Senators have asked the DOJ to investigate Blankfein and others for perjury. And the New York D.A has opened a probe.