“Maybe the title isn’t a title, but an instruction,” movie critic Bill Goodykoontz
wrote in the Arizona Republic. “‘Getaway,’ away from this movie, and fast.”
Warner Bros.’ car-chase thriller “Getaway,” starring Ethan Hawke and Selena Gomez, is expected to crash and burn at the box office. With an opening weekend domestic gross prediction of $6 million across 2,000 theatres, “expected” may be an understatement.
Its reputation precedes it. Only one of 74 Rotten Tomatoes critics gave it the thumbs up so far.
Thursday night, The Wrap reported that “Getaway” held a 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, thanks to 55 appalled critics. If the movie maintained that level of negativity as more reviews rolled in, “Getaway” could have knocked “Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever” — a 2002 action flick starring Lucy Liu and Antonio Banderas — from its top spot as the worst-reviewed movie in Rotten Tomatoes history.
What makes the film a bust? Here’s what critics are saying:
The plot is a tangled mess.
“Don’t be alarmed if you walk out of ‘Getaway’ feeling confused. It’s not you. This grainy, clustered video game of a movie makes no sense.”
There’s zero comic relief from the unimpressive car-chase scenes.
Equally egregious is the film’s almost complete lack of fun. … Behind the wheel in this film, [Hawke] is frustratingly deadpan.
“The glimmers of wit and carnival humour in the ‘Fast & Furious‘ franchise are nowhere to be found in ‘”Getaway,'”
The visuals offer no redemption.
As a whole, the action sequences either look fake or are intercut with so many other images that any excitement dissolves. The shot list might look something like this: police cars closing in on Brent’s car; Brent’s tattooed hand shifting gears; close-up of the dashboard; tight shot of the toothpick clenched in Brent’s teeth.
The chases are a meaningless salad of imagery, the editing so fast and furious that you never have the time to figure out where objects are in relation to one another.
Fresh off his cinematic megahit, “The Purge,” Ethan Hawke was an idiot to sign up for this wreck.
How sad that Ethan Hawke, who should know better, agreed to star in this belching exhaust pipe of nonstop toxicity.
One can only guess why Ethan Hawke felt compelled to make a high dive from the sublimity of ‘Before Midnight’ into the twisted rubble of ‘Getaway.’ What other reason could there be for a star to attach his name to a mindless demolition derby but the payday?
Former Disney Channel star Selena Gomez can’t hold her own on-screen.
Gomez simply seems out of her league. You have to give her props for trying to move beyond her Disney image (see “Spring Breakers”) but there’s no way she’s believable as this car owner identified only as The Kid. Part of this problem lies with the screenwriters, who could have given the character more of an edge rather than making her simply a petulant, rich kid.
“The car chases are dull, the stunt work isn’t very interesting, and the characters would have to be fleshed out to become cardboard figures.”
At least the car is fun to watch.
The real star, though, is a silver Shelby Mustang Super Snake, armoured and apparently rigged by Elon Musk himself to get 400 miles to the gallon. With the beating Brent inflicts on the car, the Mustang would need 12 tires, 17 clutches and at least 147 gallons of gas to reach the film’s finale.
Late Thursday, one forgiving Canadian critic redeemed “Getaway” with three out of five stars — the film’s first “Fresh” rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Norman Wilner, of the Toronto weekly NOW, wrote in his 172-word review:
“Director Courtney Solomon makes sure the pace never flags, holding our attention with complex multi-camera coverage, and Hawke does just the tiniest bit more acting than necessary for a genre piece.
As a great man once said, people who like this sort of thing will like this sort of thing.”
They finally did it. They made the worst movie. Of all the movies. Ever.
— Ray Subers (@raysubers) August 29, 2013
There is absolutely nothing worth recommending in GETAWAY. Not a single scene. Not a single explosion. Nothing. It is worthless.
— Ray Subers (@raysubers) August 29, 2013
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