Warning: Spoilers for “Game of Thrones” season seven, episode five, “Eastwatch.” If you aren’t caught up on the series, read at your own risk.
Every week the game of thrones changes. This week there was a lot of talking, travelling, and reunions between beloved characters: some good, some unpleasant.
But in the end, there was more getting along than there was action and conflict, which is shocking considering the season is almost over.
Every week, we’re rounding up which character was the smartest, dumbest, luckiest, and more in our power rankings.
Here’s the “Game of Thrones” power rankings based on season seven episode five, “Eastwatch”:
Gilly makes a discovery that could change the game all of these people have been playing for the past seven seasons: a guy named Rhaegar annulled his marriage so he could marry someone else. This means that Jon Snow is probably not a bastard, and is instead the rightful heir to the Iron Throne.
Randyll and Dickon refuse to bend the knee to Daenerys Targaryen, despite witnessing the wrath of Drogon. Daenerys has Drogon burn him alive. Randyll was a pretty terrible guy and threatened his son Sam's life because he liked books, so he kind of deserved it. But they both had a choice, and they chose to burn.
They're lucky Daenerys offered them life at all.
The two King's Landing guards on beach patrol should have run straight to the nearest brothel after eating Davos's fermented crab, but unfortunately they spotted Tyrion and got smacked in the face with Gendry's war hammer.
Daenerys and Drogon are super chill with burning their enemies alive.
Gendry could also be awarded most eager this week.
No, Gendry has not been rowing for the past few seasons. He's been in Flea Bottom, and he's bored and ready to fight in the name of his murdered father. Although Davos advises him to keep his relation to King Robert Baratheon a secret, he immediately tells Jon Snow and accompanies him to Eastwatch-by-the-Sea, ready to fight the army of the dead.
If everyone in Westeros believed that the Long Night was a real threat as easily as this guy, there wouldn't be a show anymore.
Jaime feels a lot of feelings when he sees his brother Tyrion. Jaime loves his little brother, but hates him for murdering their father, and possibly for being on the side of Daenerys and the dragons that literally set his army ablaze.
But Tyrion defends his decision to murder Tywin: because Tywin would have had Tyrion executed anyway. Jaime is conflicted this week, torn between the affection he has for Tyrion and the lusty love he has for Cersei.
Davos has a two-week streak as the most creative human in Westeros. Davos shows off his smuggling skills that we've heard so much about since his arrival in season two: he convinces Lannister guards that fermented crab is the Westerosi Viagra. On his brief trip to the capital, he also brings a new and eager warrior to the fight against the dead by grabbing a very enthusiastic Gendry in Flea Bottom.
After finding a cure for his greyscale, Jorah reunites with his Khaleesi. As always, he is filled with joy and eager to do anything for her. Daenerys touches him two times with her hands. He gets a hug and gets to give her a kiss! He might be friend-zoned, but Jorah will take what he gets.
Lady Sansa is enjoying the power she has in Winterfell. But Arya seems to spar with her over the way she's doing it. Or is this just Sansa and Arya playing a game (of thrones) with Littlefinger? We're not sure, but all we know is that Sansa likes ruling a lot.
Cersei's never seen a dragon obliterate an army. She's never seen the Dothraki in battle. Has she ever even seen a battle? Probably not. Not even Jaime can convince her that this is a war she cannot win. There are three dragons. Three! No matter destruction Jaime describes to her, she won't stop resisting, and it's starting to get to him.
Oh, and she also annoyingly can't accept the fact that Tyrion didn't kill Joffrey. She has zero evidence, and Olenna says she did it.
Cersei is the worst, and she is pregnant. When Euron Greyjoy finds out about her pregnancy, he's not going to be happy since she promised she would marry him after the war is over.
While Gilly is proving that she is smartest person of the week (and possibly on this show), Sam talks over her because he has more important things to say.
Arya is spying on Littlefinger this week and sparring with Sansa. Littlefinger sets her up to read a scroll he's hiding in his mattress. But Arya trained to be a sneaky assassin with the Faceless Men, so it seems a little unlikely that she'd be this careless.
Is Arya underestimating Littlefinger, or is she playing him for a fool with the help of her sister Sansa? Hopefully we'll find out next week, and see Littlefinger meet his end with his own Valyrian steel blade.
We don't see Maester Qyburn much in this episode, but he's creepy. All we know is that he's planning something with Cersei, and offers her something for what is probably her pregnancy.
After realising that his scorpion didn't quite work as expected on Drogon, he must be pretty crushed, and could fire back with another terrible plan next week.
Why is he trying to wreak havoc on the Stark sisters, and can he please stop? Ugh, there is no time for this.
The best Dream Team: Jon Snow, Tormund Giantsbane, The Hound, Jorah Mormont, Beric Dondarrion, Thoros of Myr, and Gendry
'Here we all are,' Dondarrion says. 'At the edge of the world, at the same moment, heading in the same direction for the same reason. It doesn't matter what we think our reasons are. There's a greater purpose at work, and we serve it together whether we know it or not.'
Despite their differences, these men unite against their common enemy to protect Westeros from the Long Night.
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