Former Chuck-E-Cheese Employee Gives A Terrifying Glimpse Into Kiddie Paradise

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Chuck E. Cheese has it all: games, slides, tubes, pizza and a giant rat.But a former gameroom employee recently took to Reddit to share some disgusting insights into kiddie dreamland.

[Note: Reddit’s Ask Me Anything series involves anonymous sources, which we can’t verify.]

Here’s what he says about parents misbehaving:

We served beer and wine, so drunken parents trying to bone in the bathroom was common. Also, we had a room where we kept the character costumes. People would try to sneak back there

On kids defecating in the tubes:

On my last day of work a little kid came up to tell me “Mr. Mr. Somebody pooped in the tubes and smeared it everywhere.” I said “Thanks for letting me know.” and kept on sweeping. Then a suburban mum came up to tell me as well. I realised at this point that as the lowest on the totem pole I couldn’t tell anyone else to clean it, and if I told a manager he’d just have me do it. So I ran to the costume room and got in the Chuck E. suit. I stayed “in character” for 3 hours.

On how they’d clean up vomit:

I learned you pour cotton candy crystals on it. It soaks up the puke so you can just sweep it up and it makes it smell like strawberry puke.

A tip for parents:

Don’t ever let your kids (if you have them) play in ball pits. They’re rarely cleaned. When we did clean them, we put them in my boss’ pickup truck in netted bags. Then we just went through a carwash.

And the best way to get tickets:

Now, the best way to get tickets is skee-ball. There is a counter that goes up every time someone plays. That’s the bonus. I take my kids there now (and get everything for free) and I wait until the counter is over 500. Then I play one game of skee ball. I know how to hit the 100k circle in the upper left every time (my job every morning was to do a coin drop test to make sure everything worked, and I just got good at it). I get a high enough score to win the bonus. I just do this over and over.

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