First off: when is Father’s Day, precisely? It is Sunday, June 17, 2012 — seven days from this very moment. I’m assuming you are here for some brilliant, weird, or perhaps even unfathomably unique Father’s Day gift ideas… things you haven’t already thought of.
OK, let’s be honest: you haven’t been thinking about this at all, have you?
In any event, here are some ideas to get your brain (or at least your wallet) moving:
1. A book about Winston Churchill. All Dads seem to like Winston Churchill, and more broadly, all Dads like anything pertaining to World War II history. Why not go super-meta on him and buy him an Amazon Kindle this Father’s Day, so he can download and read as many Churchill biographies and WW II tomes as he wants. Price: $79.
2. A tie, or a watch. If you’re buying a (higher-end) watch, I recommend getting it offline, so that he can return to the jeweler for sizing of the band and such if necessary. A men’s magazine like Esquire would probably say something like, “It is essential for a father to have a relationship with the local watch artisan; how else will his Panerai be properly maintained?” But this is the Internet, and we don’t use words like “artisan” around here. If it’s a good tie you’re after, check out the Psycho Bunny Men’s Plaid Tie. Don’t let the crazy hipster-y name fool you; this is a timeless, conservative looking tie. Price: $95.
3. Alcohol. Unless your family has religious or health objections, most fathers will smile widely at the sight of a Black Label, or Blue Label, bottle of the good stuff. Never give a father you like a bottle of white wine. Nor a six-pack of beer; you aren’t equals.
4. A travel laptop. More specifically, the 11.6-inch MacBook Air. Price: $952.40.
5. ABC reality television show. Just checking to see if you’re still reading. Good, carry on. Price: Your soul.
6. An incredible bowl of old-style shaving cream. I’ve switched to shaving cream recently. It simply does the job better than those freaky looking shaving gels at CVS. Taylor of Old Bond Street Sandalwood Shaving Cream is recommended. Price: $14.88.
7. A knife. For the outdoorsman or explorer, an all-black Smith & Wesson Tactical Serrated Knife will be warmly received as Father’s Day gift idea of the decade. Price: $11.54.
8. An autonomous vacuum robot. Everyone wants a Roomba; no one wants to ask for one. Become his favourite son and get the Roomba. Price: Varies based on model.
9. Netflix. Because Mad Men is on there, and so are lots of good World War II documentaries. Price: $7.99/month.
10. Mozilla Firefox. Every dad deserves a web browser designed in the last 10 years. Price: 6 minutes of your time.
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